Crack Avenue
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: A series of 100 drabbles containing many random pairings ranging from the traditional RoyEd to the oddest ones imaginable. [COMPLETED]
1. No Good

**A/N: **Oddly enough, I've been inspired to write my own series of drabbles…if that's what you want to call them. Some are long, some are short. Nevertheless, eh, who cares? Pairings are random! Although I'm a big fan of RoyEd and EdEnvy_…(__shifty eyes)._ So, yay! I've hopped aboard the bandwagon! _(Hops in, only to have the wagon tip over and falls out.)_ Crap. -- All well. Enjoy! I have a disc full of these things. Damn they are addicting. Now I see why you people write them.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I, Mint Pizza Queen, hereby declare that I do not in any way/shape/form own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, there would be a few changes. A lot of the stories I've read would become actual episodes/movies and…never mind. I don't own them. There. I said it.

* * *

**  
No Good**

Havoc and Hawkeye exchanged uneasy glances and then looked back at the pint-sized alchemist. Ed's grin was practically bigger than his face; it stretched beyond each ear. As Al had stated at one time, _'it makes him appear demonic'_. Which he pretty much was. Just a demonic little alchemist with that demonic brain cooking up a demonic scheme. Anytime he had that mischievous look on his face was when he was up to no good, which was obviously in his case almost all the time.

"Could you repeat that last line, boss?" Havoc fumbled the cigarette between his teeth worriedly.

Ed's grin broadened. Havoc wondered how that was possible for it was already stretching it's limits, but didn't say anything. "Did I stutter? I do believe I said everything quite plain and clear."

"It's just, well-" Havoc was at a loss for words, but was saved by the ever-endearing Hawkeye.

"We didn't quite _absorb_ it thoroughly. Did you say what we think you just did?"

The alchemist observed his gloved automail hang with an annoyed expression. So much for the everlasting smirk. "Yup. When I want revenge, I will get it. Mustang will never know what hit him." Ah, the grin, it returns at last.

Havoc and Hawkeye both took mental notes: Edward Elric plus one demonic smile equals up to no good. Oh how they pitied Roy now that they knew what Ed had stuffed up his sleeve.

* * *

**A/N:** What was Edward's plan? What did he say that even got Riza's feathers ruffled? That's for you to imagine. Perhaps I may write a sequel for this drabble later on. Only if you want to know. Stay tuned. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	2. Bed

**A/N:** This just popped into my head while I was making my bed. Just something that comes out of inspiration and/or stupid things that have happened while I was around. RoyEd.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. But I do own the FMA game!

* * *

**  
Bed**

"Edward," Roy's eyebrow seemed to twitch. Edward saw it, but chuckled instead of questioning about that little tick.

"Yes, Roy?"

"You do realize it's _very difficult_ to make a bed when you're in it still."

Edward pulled the blankets up close to his chin and grinned. "I know."

Roy sighed and began to tug at the blankets. "Edward, come on. I'm going to be late for work."

"When are you never late for work?" Edward snuggled deeper into the sheets making the ability to make the bed utterly useless. Roy sighed.

"I used to be always on time for work until you came around."

"And that's because--"

Roy's head lowered and he glared. "I see where you're getting at, Fullmetal."

Edward shot up in bed and gave a small glare. "Oh, so I'm Fullmetal again, am I? Well, see if I care." With that, he flung his legs over the bed and marched out of the room, dragging all the sheets with him.

Roy released yet again another sigh. At least he'll be able to make his bed. That was until he realized Ed _had taken_ the blankets _with_ him.

"Edward, it's very difficult to make a bed when there are no blankets on them."

**

* * *

A/N:** Heh. I've had trouble making my bed, but it wasn't due to someone stealing the blankets on me. See, I have a lot of cats cause I'm a foster parent for animals (and almost all the cats I fostered I ended up adopting) and well, there's these two kittens that like to burrow deep in the blankets making it very hard to make the bed. Thus, I kinda came up with this. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	3. Fear Itself

**A/N:** Wrote this during English class when school was still in session. Just found it amongst my papers. (sweatdrops). Eh, enjoy?**

* * *

Disclaimer: **

I don't own FMA. I own nothing. Except…well…a bed, a computer, and a cat.

**

* * *

Fear Itself**

Edward wasn't one to be afraid of things. There were, however, a few instances where a psychopath butcher and a loaded cannon did the trick.

There were a few things that did bother him though. Things like a rampant chimera, identity thieves, state assessments, a certain Colonel, and a simple glass of milk. Hey, milk is vicious. Not his fault he didn't like the drink the white juice secreted by cows. The other things were that bothered him he could handle.

Then, why was it, no matter the reason of the cause, he was always terrified of one certain female?

**"Edward!**** Get your ass back here so I can beat you to death for ruining your automail!"  
**  
Oh yeah, the answer was very clear now. That certain female carried a wrench and most certainly knew how to use it.

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah...

* * *

**Reviews:** Okay, I'll write a sequel to the first drabble. And one of you wondered about a RizaEd pairing and if I were going to write one…well, sure! Heehee…I actually had one in mind the other day…lol. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	4. Joking

**A/N:** Don't ask. I didn't have to take a final exam for English class, so while I was waiting for everyone to finish I had wrote this. Just, don't ask. RoyEd

* * *

**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA. I wish I did. _(dreamy sigh)_ There would be so much Roy and Ed action that you could make pudding out of it...

* * *

**Joking**

"Ed, I want you to dance and cluck like a chicken in the cafeteria and declare that you are in love with me." 

Ed's face darkened. "I already told you that I loved you, but that…you're joking, right?"

Roy put on his most serious expression. "Do I look like I'm joking, Fullmetal?"

The only time he said 'Fullmetal' was when he really was serious. A whimper left Ed's throat as he stood up to face the impending doom. Just as he was going to leave, Roy burst into a fit of chuckles.

"Do you honestly think that I would have you do that? If I did, I'd have you do it in that lovely frilly pink dress I bought you!"

Edward lunged at the Colonel and knocked him backwards out of the chair. They skidded across the floor a few feet. Ed had him pinned in the most…interesting choice of positions.

"Ed! If you're going to make out with the Colonel, have some decency to close the door!"

Another dark expression filled Ed's face. Winry would never let him live this down. Nor would she let him forget, for seconds later she had returned with Maes Hughes (who was armed with his trusty and all-faithful camera) and took a beautiful snapshot of Ed on top of Roy. Roy had given the peace sign with a cheesy grin while Ed had his fist just inches away from the lens.

* * *

**A/N:** Gotta love Hughes. _(hugs Maes Hughes)_ He's awesome. And huzzah! I updated…twice in one day! (cause tomorrow I don't know if I can…if I can, well, that's another update for you!) 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	5. Won't Back Down

**A/N:** Another RoyEd story. Gosh, these are so addicting. I love that coupling. And, wowsers! I got someone into liking the RoyEd goodness! Glee!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I own pie, pie is good, yet I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. _(Insert weeping)_

* * *

**Won't Back Down  
**Edward was always a stubborn boy; from the day he was born till this very moment in time. Perhaps not all that stubbornness was just arrogance, but determination as well. Whatever it was, Roy could not quite decide. 

Nor could he stop it. No matter what mission he gave the kid, it always got done (one way or another). No matter what happened, he pulled through (maybe with a little bitchiness here and there).

What could make him back down? There had to be something…but what?

Actually, there was one thing Roy hadn't attempted, but the question was, _would it work_?

"Fullmetal," Roy began one day, "I want you to kiss me."

A few seconds later on that same day, Roy realized that, well, that didn't work either. Perhaps a full make-out session could do the trick?

* * *

**A/N:** Haha! Resistance is futile, Roy old chap! You know you want Edward. _(Insert kissy noises) _You know you don't want him to back down, you know it! _(Sees people.)_ Er…yeah…heehee…you know you want EdRoy action too! _(Points accusing finger) _

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	6. The Pain of It All

**A/N:** Wrote this in a restaurant. Got bored. What can I say? I love the torture Ed.

* * *

**Extra Credit:** Thanks to joyfulnessone from GJ (greatest journal) and her brother for helping come up with the title for this drabble. Thankies!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the snow, I don't own the men's room, I don't own the military, I don't own the show. Thank you. Now please read.

* * *

**The Pain of It All**

It had started as a great day, really it did. No one had picked a few wisecracks about his height. No one decided to bombard him with unnecessary 'house-duties' (such as cleaning the men's bathroom), and of course, the best thing of all, he had not seen hide-or-hair of that arrogant Colonel Mustang.

What made his day much better than most other days was it was snowing. Gently snowing. Snow was something he really liked, because it came only during one season (most of the time) and it was usually a sign that in just a few weeks, there would be a fresh start to the world.

Therefore, as anyone who enjoyed the falling snow, it was only tradition to taste it from the first fresh fall. Edward had taken this chance of freedom to do just that.

He ran around the empty courtyard with his tongue sticking out trying to catch as many snowflakes as he could. Too bad he didn't see that brick that jutted out of the ground. Which lead to his current stance.

He had tripped on that brick and flew across the courtyard with his tongue still out catching snow. Low and behold, he flew right into a metal flagpole.

Sure, it would've been okay if his tongue didn't touch the pole, but Fate wouldn't have it any other way. Of course, Fate also decided that now would be the best point of time to bring on the bad stuff, which included one Colonel.

"Fullmetal, what are you doing to that flagpole?"

* * *

**A/N:** This one I have officially decided to write a sequel for, so you don't have to worry about that. My sister er- 'convinced' me in the nicest way possible (whilst threatening to get rid of my FMA DVDs…) 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	7. Strawberries

**A/N:** In a way, you could say that this story is to tease a friend of mine who just LOVES strawberries. Heh…Oh! Implied RoyEd.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Me no own.

* * *

**Strawberries**

Strawberries, to Roy, were more than just a fruit. They were a delicacy. They had to be picked at the right moment in order to maintain the wonderful, voluptuous taste. Picked too soon and they were bitter and hard to chew. Picked too late and they were at loss of flavor and were rotten. However, pick at the right moment and it was heaven to the senses.

Strawberries could be used in a variety of dishes, and could be served alone. Roy preferred eating them with cheesecake. The thought of fresh cut strawberries laid out on top of the dessert was enough to make anyone drool.

Edward knew that Roy yearned for one more taste, just one. He took that to heart too. With every mission he was sent on, he looked high and low for a store that sold the food. Of course, none had it because they couldn't get any shipments of the red fruit.

Edward even asked people if they knew any place to find it. None knew, and some have never even heard of cheesecake. However, he wouldn't give up.

Luck was on Edward's side that day when he found a little stand selling fresh picked strawberries. Even better luck was he was able to pick a basket of strawberries himself, making sure that they were at perfection.

Arriving back into Central with his prize, Edward managed to contact Gracia, who just so happened to get ingredients for a cheesecake...

"Here." Edward pushed a white box to the Taisa and hid a grin.

The Colonel faltered. "What's this?"

"Open it and look."

The Taisa faltered again. He was itching to find out what was in the box, but then again, this was Edward we're talking about here...that kid was bound to be up to something, and Roy knew it.

"It's not anything bad; it's something you've been wanting for a while."

Roy raised an eyebrow. _'Did Edward--no, he wouldn't have, would he?'_ He opened the box and his senses instantly came to life. Right in front of him was a three-layered cheesecake, each layer separated by a thin line of fresh sliced strawberries.

"You...I...how..."

"I've been looking for the strawberries for a while, and I just so happened passed a stand with a field of them behind it on my way back here. Gracia helped with the cake part."

Roy fought the temptation to drool, but his mouth was watering. Fresh strawberries, cheesecake, oh this was just too much for one man to handle.

"Thank you, Edward."

"No problem, Taisa."

* * *

**A/N:** So nice of Edward to find it for Roy. I was so tempted to continue and actually HAVE something bad happen…maybe in another story I'll have something bad happen…but it won't be a continuation of this. Heh. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	8. Wordless

**A/N:** Another RoyEd drabble_. (Now addicted to the coupling)._ They fight like a married couple in the series, so, they should get married! _(Wedding bells heard)_ YAY! Oh crap, wrong wedding. _(Sweat drops)._ This one is in Ed's POV. Let's see what he's thinking…for a moment…okay…stop reading this…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. However, I only have one wish: ROY! MARRY EDWARD! NOW!

* * *

**Wordless**

"Fullmetal…"

_'Don't even listen.'  
_  
"Fullmetal…"

_'Don't even look at him.'_

"Fullmetal Alchemist…"

_'Pretend he's not there and that it's all in my head…'  
_  
"EDWARD!"

"What?" I shrieked. Sure, the guy was annoying, but he didn't have to bug me while I was trying to ignore him.

"I want to speak with you," Roy smirked. Damn, I hated that smirk.

"Well, you're speaking with me, now go away." Roy's smirk seemed to grow. How the hell it was able to get that large was beyond me.

"In _private_." He looked over to Riza, and I followed his gaze. Without any hesitation, Riza bowed and left, closing the door behind her with a _'click'._

So, here I was…alone…with this bastard who called himself a Colonel…damn.

Roy hovered over his desk for a moment before approaching me. His smirk softened until it seemed…gentle, kind perhaps? Boy, this guy sure knew how to creep me out. Then again…I was_ alone_ with him…maybe this was a good thing...No! _'Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!'_

"Edward, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," I raised an eyebrow. Did something happen to someone while I was away? Did he accidentally spill the beans on Al and me? Damn, if he did--"Edward, are you listening?"

I snapped out of my pool of thoughts and glowered. "Yeah, I'm listening."

"Well," Roy took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair.

"Just spill. Did something happen?"

Roy shook his head. "No, it's, well…kinda embarrassing…" I hid a smirk. Oh, so the Flame **_could _**get embarrassed. What did he do that was so stupid to do that?

"Well, if it's embarrassing, why are you telling me?"

"Because it involves you." Roy turned so I couldn't see his face. I wished I could for that moment, just so I could try to see what he was thinking. What was I thinking? Me? Wanting to see his face? _'Agh!'_

Roy spoke again. "Edward, you make me feel warm to the face, weak in the knees, uneasy in the stomach, and my heart flutters. I know it sounds clichéd, but seeing you makes me wanna claim you as my own. However, you're a kid _and_ a boy, so, I'm just gonna say it plain and simple and you can rant all you want after or call me a pedophile till the day I die, or call me a sick pervert or something. Edward, I'm in love with you."

My jaw literally dropped to the floor. What could I say at a moment like this? I didn't really think of him of _that bad_ of a guy. I saw Roy blush with guilt at what he said. I think he was still waiting for me to respond cause he refused to look at me. I guess he was also waiting for the thrashing of all thrashings…

I, instead, grabbed the collar of his uniform and pulled him to my level. He eyed me nervously, but I broke the tension by placing a sloppy kiss on his lips. I, for once, was wordless. So, what else could I do?

* * *

**A/N:** Quite long. Looooong drabble. Bad long drabble. Bad. But hey! They finally kissed! Huzzah! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	9. Bad Hair Day

**A/N:** Oi, I want to start writing drabble that contain shippings other than EdRoy, such as HavocFury, but I don't really know much about their characters. Well, I do, it's just, well, I want to read a few fics with them two as the main couple before I do move on to writing for their shipping. So, leave a line if you know some good HavocFury writers, kaykay? But hey, who's complaining about EdRoy ficlets? _(Notmenotmenotmenotme…)_ Nevertheless, this one isn't EdRoy _(Dodges flying objects)._ Just a little something I'm trying out.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I'm plotting a way to bribe them to hand over FMA…so far, nothing's working.

* * *

**Bad Hair Day**

It wasn't very often Ed had a bad hair day, but when he did, it was bad, and today, his hair decided to be the biggest pain in the ass it could be.

Ed had tried to put it in its traditional braid, but the braid kept falling apart for some reason, and then after when he decided to leave it in a ponytail, it decided that the frizz age was back in style and frizzed so it was puffier than a squirrel's tail.

He groaned and leaned forward, rested his elbow on the armrest of the couch and his chin on the palm of his hand. He was now in the Taisa's office waiting to turn in a report. On his way there, a few people laughed and smirked at the frizziness of the boy's hair. He just gave the traditional glare, and stalked on.

Ed reached up to try and somehow flatten the ponytail. Didn't work. Instead, it just shot right back up in retaliation. _'Damn hair, should chop it off_.' That's when he noticed Riza kept on looking up from her paperwork and kept staring at his head.

_'Okay, it must be really bad if it's got Riza staring…'_

"Sir?" Riza pulled a stool from around her desk, pulled it beside her, and patted on the cushion. "If you don't mind sir…"

Ed didn't say anything. He just got up from the couch, stalked over to the stool, and sat down. He watched as Riza pulled out the top drawer and grabbed a brush and several hair ties.

She took out the hair tie that held his hair in its current place, and tossed it aside. She took the brush and brought it through his hair several times before she let out a soft snort and then stood up. "I'll be right back, don't move."

Once again, he didn't say anything. He just sat and waited patiently for her to return. She did return, except not empty handed. She was holding a spray bottle full of water and a towel.

She sprayed his hair several times with the water and set down the bottle to continue. She ran the towel down his hair just to pat down the frizzies, and then began to separate the hair into several sections.

It took Ed a moment to realize that she was making three small braids to combine into the one big braid that he usually had it in. He felt her hands running through his hair quickly and without hesitation.

Seconds later, she was done. She turned him around and smiled when he faced her. It wasn't just a smile that she usually gave when someone did a good job, or a smile that she gave him when he got back from a mission; it was a genuine loving smile. Something he hadn't seen since his mother's death.

"Is that better, Ed?"

He nodded slowly. "Thanks, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Please, just call me Riza when no one else is around."

Ed blushed. "Thanks, Riza."

* * *

**A/N:** Teehee! I think I read a story someone out there where it was the other way around…Riza was having the bad hair day and Edward came to the rescue…I think…I wasn't trying to copy it, this came to mind when I was having trouble with my own hair, then I typed this up, and realized 'whoa, someone wrote something like that before, didn't they?' Well, I apologize if it seems very similar to yours! Je suis désolé! Oh yeah, some RizaEd implied in there. :3 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	10. Kittens

**A/N:** Oi! I realized I never wrote any with Alphonse yet! Ah! Cannot forget Alphonse!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Do I look like Hiromu Arakawa? Didn't think so.

* * *

**Kittens  
**Al nearly squealed when he saw what one of his gifts for returning from Central was. Grandma Pinako strolled out from the back room carrying a cardboard box full of kittens.  
_  
Kittens. _

Edward could've crowned her, and not the type of crown you give someone to make him or her royal. As in, _'take-your-hands-and-wrap-them-around-that-person's-throat-and-shake-them-to-death-and-then-devour-their-face'_ crowning.

However, Edward was pulled into the next room by Winry for an automail checkup before he could begin ranting.

If Al had human eyes just them, they would've been as big as saucers and filled with tears of joy. However, just as soon as those eyes were like that, they would change into puppy eyes and he would be begging Edward for him to keep them.

Nothing a little Alphonse magic couldn't cure.

* * *

**A/N:** Shorter drabble! Finally, something I CAN consider a drabble. The others were like full-fledged stories. Heh, HUZZAH! KITTIES! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	11. Clowns

**A/N: **I just had to do something with this scene. So sorry, I just HAD to do it. In Ed's POV.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I own one manga, three DVDs, and a video game. Not to mention countless other magazines, all with pictures of _(gasps)_ ED AND ROY! HUZZAH! So, do you see anything here that says that I own FMA? Nope. None. Okay, good. I don't own it. Don't sue me.

* * *

**Clowns  
**"What are you guys street performers or something?" 

_'Spew.'  
_  
That freaking idiot! Do I look like a clown? Sure, people call me short a lot, but I am no Bo-Bo the Clown wandering place-to-place, entertaining little kids by making animals out of balloons. I mean, come on! I am not that creepy!

Wait, I just called myself creepy.

Clowns were creepy. Clowns were the very definition of creepy. Those weird clothes and that weird looking hair, the face paint and that damned nose and that creepy looking smile…then there's the bag of stupid tricks that they have. It's as if you have to be cautious enough to even poke them, in fear of exploding with the clown.

I, on the other hand, am not a clown; therefore, I am not creepy. I don't have the face paint, the nose, or that creepy smile. In addition, you don't see my arm falling off when you go to shake hands. Okay, well, there was that one instance where my automail arm fell off, but still…

"I don't think so pops, do I look like a clown to you?"

* * *

**A/N:** I'm not afraid of clowns. It's just, well; so many people talk about their phobia's of clowns and decided to toy with it a little bit… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	12. Cheese

**A/N:** Okay, very random, but it just popped into my head. Had to do it. Forgive me! _(Hides).

* * *

_**Disclaimer:** _Cheese, me no like cheese!_ Er, I mean, I don't own FMA. ¬ ¬

* * *

**Cheese**

Havoc pushed a plate in front of Edward with a ginger flick of his wrist. Edward stared at the plate for a second before looking back up to Havoc with a menacing glare. A growl emitted from the back of his throat.

Havoc rolled his eyes. "What's wrong now?"

Ed lifted a hand and pointed to the plate. "There's cheese on the burger."

"I know, hence the name _'cheeseburger'_."

"Cheese has milk in it."

Havoc bit the toothpick in his mouth. "No shit, Sherlock."

"I don't like milk."

Havoc almost fell over in his chair. There was no way he could get milk in this kid…unless…

"Don't you dare put milk in my coffee."

_Damn.

* * *

_

**A/N:** Heh, not exactly what I thought of at first, but it works! Gotta love Havoc.

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	13. Summer

**A/N:** Hey again. More drabbles! Brought to you in part by Mint Pizza Queen.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** A moose once bit my sister…

* * *

**Summer  
**At long last, after waiting 273 long and tiring days, summer was officially here. It was the day where the sun was officially here to shine all day and the moon was to beam all night. Ah, it was perfect…on account if one ignored the weatherman and his rants about storms and all that jazz. 

Edward leaned against the old maple tree and took in a whiff of the fresh, summer air. Fresh cut grass with the hint of…_cologne_?

Ed opened one eye slightly and quickly closed it when he saw who it was. "What do you want, Taisa?"

"Why are you on my lawn?"

Ed smirked and rubbed the back of his head with his automail hand. "Lounging."

"I can see that. But why on _my_ lawn?"

Ed let out a false yawn, laid on the grass, and stretched just to annoy the man. "Because your grass is the greenest." He opened his eyes and grinned up at Roy.

Roy rolled his eyes and seated himself beside the young alchemist. "You know, Edward, for as long as you've been here, you've always done this to me."

"Done what?"

Roy playfully smacked Edward on the back of the head. "You know what, came and lounged on my lawn, that's what. And it's always been on the same day, why?"

Ed rolled over and closed his eyes, finally feeling the sun on his face when he realized he wasn't in the shade anymore. "Cause it's the first day of summer, and plus…I have nothing better to do with my time."

"Summer means longer days, which means I could give you more work to do, Fullmetal."

_Damn._ Ed forgot about that.

All well, only 94 more days until fall was here.

* * *

**  
A/N:** I had a calendar by my side when I wrote this…XP 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	14. Winter

**A/N:** I realize I am posting the seasons out of order, but, eh, who cares? The stories aren't really connected in any way anyway. (Okay, that sounded weird.)

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I love this season!

* * *

**Winter  
**Winry raised the mug of hot cocoa to her lips and blew the steam away gently to cool the drink. She then sipped it thoughtfully and pulled the quilt closer to herself. It was wintertime, and there was no way she was going to go anywhere at the moment. For one thing, it was snowing like a son-of-a-bitch outside, and for another, she was too damn comfortable. 

She smiled and snuggled deeper into the quilt and patted Den on the head. The dog made no movement but snorted softly in its slumber. Winry smiled and sipped at her mug once more.

Wintertime was her favorite time of year because it meant that the Elrics would be staying for a few weeks, for Mustang didn't have any missions to give them at this time. This meant that they wouldn't be out getting themselves in trouble and/or killed. Winry loved knowing that they were safe in the house where she was.

Speaking of Elrics, she looked across the room to see Alphonse sitting quietly on a chair staring at the flames in the fireplace. On the floor were scattered sheets of paper with notes scribbled in chicken scratch, which Ed liked to call his own handwriting. Winry smiled at the sight.

Edward laid on his stomach with a pencil in his left hand, seemingly in mid-sentence when he fell asleep. He drooled slightly on his papers, which would cause the young alchemist to rant and bash himself when he woke up.

Winry smiled and stared out the window once more. Winter was definitely the best time of year.

* * *

**A/N:** Huzzah. Should've poked Edward out of his nap. :P All well. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	15. Autumn

**A/N:** Huzzah! An Autumn ficcy! Oi, on with the show. :D Implied HavocEd.

* * *

**  
Disclaimer:** The leaves are mine…they came from my tree…

* * *

**Autumn  
**Havoc puffed at the cigarette he had in his mouth and slowly sighed, releasing the smoke. There was a slight nip in the early morning air, but that was to be expected since it was in the middle of the fall where it would be soon winter. 

He replaced the rake into the shed and admired his handy work. He had successfully raked up all the leaves on the premises into a nice, neat pile and the leaves were ready to be disposed of. He took the cigarette butt from his mouth, dropped it to the ground, and stepped on it. He wasn't exactly ready to be cursed out for setting fire to a huge mound of leaves.

He wasn't exactly ready for what happened next, either.

Edward Elric had left one of the buildings and saw the huge mound of leaves with Havoc standing beside it. He grinned and resisted the urge to burst into a fit of evil cackles. This opportunity was just too good to pass up. After all, it wasn't every day you got to do this to Havoc.

He sprinted across the courtyard and when he was a pace away from Havoc, lunged in the air.

Havoc turned his head in the knick of time to see Edward's handspush his chest. He felt himself lose his balance and both went flying into the mound of leaves.

_'FWOOSH!'__  
_  
Leaves flew up every which way as Edward snuggled into Havoc's chest, leaves tangled in his hair. Havoc blinked in surprise at the sneak attack, but began to play with Edward's hair, trying a little to get the leaves out.

"You shit head."

"Love you too."

Ah, yes. Autumn was good, especially when you had one Edward Elric pin you down in a mound of leaves and say that he loves you.

* * *

**A/N:** Aaah, leaves…:D 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	16. Spring

**A/N:** Wowsers! It's the last season! Ee! And thank you for the heads-up on where to find some good HavocFury stories. _(Gives over truckloads of cookies)._Here's my first attempt at HavocFury. :D

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Now kids, let's talk about the birds and the bees…

* * *

**Spring  
**Spring had finally arrived at Central. Which meant the snow would melt and the ground would turn into a thick pot of mud. Icky, gicky, mud. Mud that stuck to boots, was tracked into the buildings, and was spread around like butter. 

Fury exited one of the main buildings and breathed in the fresh air. The snow was already melted due to the unexpected 'heat wave', if you want to call it, and the ground was already like pudding. Fury smiled, and walked out and carefully made his way through the courtyard through the slop.

Spring was wonderful; it meant the beginning to new life. The animals would come out of their dens, the flowers would start to come out and bloom. It was wonderful.

_'RUMBLE'._

A sudden rumble of thunder came out of nowhere, and it suddenly began to pour. Fury's smile flipped over and was a frown. He had forgotten that spring was also the time of unexpected downpours.

"Hey, need an umbrella?" Havoc grinned, walked over to Fury and held the umbrella over both of their heads. His arm snaked around Fury's back and he pulled the man closer to him.

Oh yeah, spring wasn't all that bad now that he thought about it more. Spring was also the time of year Havoc took him out more.

Spring was definitely nice.

* * *

**A/N:** Heehee…I didn't mention anything about bugs. We didn't need any bugs. :P 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	17. Halloween

**A/N:** This was kinda a request from my sister. She's obsessed with this Holiday. :P Plus, I got her addicted to RoyEd.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Mine... Okay, not mine.

* * *

**Halloween  
**Ed didn't know whether to be furious or to be thankful at the moment. He had several good reasons to be angry. 

One reason was everyone (well, _nearly_ everyone) was giggling and snickering at him behind his back. They kept making comments amongst themselves and he knew exactly what they were talking about.

Another reason was he hated his costume. Why did he have to dress up as the princess? Why couldn't Roy? Last year, Roy had said that _**he **_could be the prince. _Damn him._ Next time, he vowed to steal the costume before Roy could get to it.

However, he had some perfectly good reasons to be thankful. One of those reasons was he got lots of goodies and treats because random people thought that he was, indeed, a woman. He ignored the comments because he was too busy stuffing his face with candy corn.

Also, another reason was Roy never left his side. Said it had to do with the dance later...or something like that. Edward knew that it was because Roy couldn't stand a minute without the alchemist. After all, what was a prince without a princess?

* * *

**A/N:** Heehee…couldn't resist. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	18. Allergies

**A/N:** My sister suggested writing this when I was having one of my allergy spasms…you know, when you sneeze and don't stop until you've sneezed a zillion times? That.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Thank god for Benadryl.

* * *

**Allergies**  
Edward sniffled and made his way down the hallway. He was miserable. Miserable with a capital 'm'. He woke up this morning all peachy and keen, but the moment he stepped outside, the pollen hit him full force in the face. It was like a swarm of tiny insects, but without the bugs. 

First, it started with the traditional itchy, watery eyes. Then, it turned to a stuffy nose, which began to run quicker than Edward could blow it. It then went to sneezing every five seconds.

The moment he walked into the building where Mustang's office was, he stopped sneezing like crazy, but he was still miserable. His eyes were all red and itchy from the nasty little pollen critters.

Roy's door swung open with a bang and there stood the distraught Edward. He loudly blew his nose and groaned. He marched over to Roy, plopped his bum down on his lap, and gave Roy a forceful kiss. A second later, he pulled away and sunk into Roy's arms.

"You better have a good reason for making me go through all that suffering with that damn pollen."

"Actually, I do." With that, Roy turned Ed's face, gave him another kiss, and rubbed the alchemist's bright red cheeks.

It would take Edward ten minutes to realize that he hadn't sneezed, blew his nose, or snuffled since he plopped his ass down on Roy's lap. Who needs Benadryl when you got Roy?

* * *

**A/N:** I think that's how you spell the medicine. Benadryl, if you don't know, is an allergy medicine. :P Who needs Benadryl when you got Roy? 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	19. Man Hole

**A/N:** I have no idea where this came from. My sister thought of the topic, and I just wrote for it. O.o

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I own Ed's socks…

* * *

**Man Hole**

Roy, Riza and Al peeked into the dark hole with half worried half amused expressions on their faces. Riza looked like she was about ready to leap into the hole and rescue the poor boy, while Al just looked…like the armor he's been in for some time. Roy, however, looked like he was about to bust a gut. He was biting his bottom lip to stop himself from laughing hysterically.

Eventually, an automail hand popped out of the darkness and a grunt was heard. "A little help here?"

Roy took the hand and lifted Edward out of the hole, smirking. Edward narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

Riza held a hand over her nose and gagged. "Edward, sir, perhaps when we get back to Roy's house, you should take a shower, ASAP. I could have your clothes cleaned by the time you got out."

Edward didn't reply with words, but grunted. He was too busy giving Roy the glares of all glares.

"You pushed me into that hole on purpose, didn't you? Bastard."

Roy looked away innocently. He didn't want Edward to fall into the hole, honest! He didn't want Edward to suddenly stink so bad that he'd have to take a shower at Roy's house and Roy would 'accidentally' walk in on him…

He smirked. One point for Mustang.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope it's not that bad. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	20. Ice Cream

**A/N:** You know it, I know it, we all know it, and it's just too tempting to pass this topic up. :D RoyEd.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I like chocolate!

* * *

**Ice Cream  
**Roy liked ice cream. Its creamy (and sometimes _exotic_) flavors made him drool at every ice cream truck that passed. That's why everytime he'd seen an ice cream stand, he'd stop and get a cone (or two) and absorb the flavor one lick at a time. 

Edward thought that ice cream was okay, but didn't consider it a god like Roy treats it. Sure, he'd get an ice cream with Roy, but he'd devour it just as quickly as he got it. Seeing Roy just sit there and lick the ice cream ever so slowly was enough to try his patience…wait, what patience?

On the way home from the office one day, Roy and Edward stopped at a stand and got themselves their usual snack. They seated themselves at a bench and enjoyed their little treat.

Edward hadn't started to eat his ice cream; instead, he sat and watched Roy savor each little lick. He raised an eyebrow.

_'Slurp.'_

_'Slurp.'_

_'Slurp.'_

"CUT THAT OUT!"

Roy paused in half lick and blinked at Edward who just noticed that his ice cream was melting off the cone and was pooling in the palm of his hand. "I'm enjoying it."

Edward quickly lapped up as much ice cream off the cone as he could and stared at the mess in his hand for a second before licking it off. "So I noticed. The way you treat ice cream, seems like you love it more than me."

_'Splat.'_

Edward blinked at the mess on the ground. Roy dropped the ice cream cone and stared at Edward in shock.

"Edward, I love ice cream, but nothing and I mean nothing can beat how much I love you." With that, he wrapped one of his arms around Ed's waist and pulled him closer to his chest.

Edward, forgetting about the ice cream, dropped it to the ground as well and leaned forward to meet Roy's lips.

Roy liked ice cream, but not as much as he loved Edward.

* * *

**A/N:** Huzzah. :D I should make a sequel to that in the future…maybe…next time, they'll get ice cream…WITH SPRINKLES! Or syrup…or something… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	21. Photos

**A/N:** I eventually had to do something with this. I just had to. It was killing me. What if Pinako met Hughes…who was loaded with a photo album of…PHOTOS? _(Insert gasps of terror)._ Yeah, thought so.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! MAES HAS PHOTOS!

* * *

**Photos  
**Pinako Rockbell climbed off the train and looked about the station. Winry told her that they would send someone to meet up with her. She looked down at the sheet of paper with the description of the person scribbled on it. 

_'Tall, dark hair, glasses, annoying. Caution: look out for pictures. Name: Maes Hughes.'_

What they meant by that, she had no idea. She lifted up her bag and walked over to a building when she saw a big sign pop up out of the crowd.

"Pinako Rockbell! Yoo-hoo!"

On the sign it had a chibi-drawing of her (probably drawn by Edward) and read "Grandma Pinako" on it. She filed through the people to come face to face with the man as described on the paper.

He bent over and held out a hand. "Hello, you must be Pinako Rockbell, Winry's grandmother."

"Indeed I am, and you are Maes Hughes, correct?"

He nodded, grinning. "Yes I am. Here, let me take your bag. A lady shouldn't have to lug that around." He took the bag and led her to a black car.

Pinako smiled. So far, nothing wrong. No pictures, as warned about in the note.

"Here you are." He opened the door and allowed her to climb in. Another man, who introduced himself as Denny Broche, was the driver. Hughes climbed in beside her after putting the bag in the trunk and the car sped off towards Central.

"So," Pinako began, "How's the boys and Winry?"

Hughes flashed a grin. "They're fine. Winry's been keeping Ed in line with that wrench of hers. Say, have any of the three mentioned anything about my daughter, Elysia?"

"Uh…"

With that, thousands of pictures appeared out of thin air. Pinako's eyes widened at just how many there were. She looked at the first one her hand grabbed and saw a cute little girl riding a tricycle. That must be his daughter.

"That's your daughter?"

Hughes spazzed. "Yes! Isn't she just the cutest thing ever? Here she is on her third birthday! Oh! Here's the cake my wife made her, just look at how sweet that smile is!"

_'This must be what they warned me about,'_ Pinako thought. _'Hughes must think that I'm in the run for the money, I'll show him.'_

-----

Edward looked up from the desk and saw Hughes walk in looking very glum. A victory smirking Pinako strolled in after him.

"Hey, Pinako. What's the smirk for?"

Pinako eyed Hughes. "Tell him."

Hughes frowned. "I ran out of photos to show her. She looked through every single one and asked to see more."

Ed's eyes widened. _'Holy shit…'_

Pinako pulled at Hughes' sleeve. "Are you sure you don't have any more photos?"

With that, Hughes threw the photos that heheld up in the air and ran out of the office. Riza Hawkeye leaned over her desk and watched as he sprinted down the hallway.

Roy, who was sitting a few chairs away from Edward, blinked. Who was this woman, and how long was she staying? He could sure use her for when Hughes went on his photo-showing spree again…

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, patience is a virtue. Pinako has so much patience that it scares Hughes…poor Maes. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	22. Cleaning Duty

**A/N:** If you're wondering why I'm posting like mad, it's because I'm not going to be able to on Friday. I am going to a friend's party and won't be able to get on a computer. :P So, why not do it now? I hope you find the next story very amusing. EdRoy. :D

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Eh, no thanks. You can have it.

* * *

**Cleaning Duty**

Edward and Roy stood in the hallway looking at the door that had a sign that read _"Men's Room"_ written in big, black letters.

See, Hawkeye caught the two of them doing something that shouldn't be done in an office, and had sentenced them to cleaning duty. For the day. The cleaning duty consisted of cleaning the cafeteria, the windows, the floors, and lastly…

**_The 'Men's Room'._**

Ed gulped and Roy twitched.

"You first," Roy elbowed Edward slightly in the ribs. Edward looked up flabbergasted and grunted.

"I don't think so, superiors first."

"As your superior, I order you to go in there first."

"As your lover, I say you go in first."

_'Damn.'_

"As the dominant one, I say you go in there first."

"Dominant my ass, you first."

"How about," Riza walked forward with a bucket and a mop and handed one item to each of the men, "you both go in now before I let Armstrong go in after have an entire pot of the chef's special beans?"

Those two were in that bathroom quicker than you could say "pie".

* * *

**A/N:** Uh…don't know where that popped up…just…came…yeah… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	23. House of Mirrors

**A/N:** I'm back. :D Party was fun. Lots of candy. Lots of soda. Didn't sleep a wink. Heehee…hyper…RoyEd.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Oi, what do you expect me to say by now, I like pie? Oh wait, never mind…

* * *

**House of Mirrors**

Ed grumbled as Roy walked down the aisles of mirrors. Roy told the alchemist he was going out to get a mirror and had asked him to come along. Of course, thinking that it was going to be with _just_ Roy, Ed eagerly came along.

Roy had _failed_ to mention that Armstrong had tagged along to help with the loading.

Roy noted the grumbling and grabbed Edward's hand. He gave him a slight tug. "Calm down, Edward, it's only for the moment."

"Yeah, but when we get home, he's gonna want to come in and make sure that it's in the right spot according to the _'Armstrong Family Mirror Legacy Of Mirror Hanging'_." Ed made a face as he said that and then stuck his tongue out. Roy simply smiled.

"Ah, the good looks have been passed down through the _Armstrong Family_ for generations," both Ed and Roy peeked into the next aisle and saw that Armstrong had torn off his shirt and was flexing his muscles in admiration in the mirror.

As the man continued to do this and repeat the famous _Armstrong Family_ speech, Ed kept making faces and gagging noises at the man who took no notice. Roy elbowed Ed in the ribs to shut him up and stop making a scene.

After a few minutes of watching, Ed began to get bored. "Can we please go, Roy? He'll never notice us gone."

Roy shook his head. "That would be impolite to do that."

"Yeah, well, it's impolite to do what he's doing to that mirror." Ed pointed out with a smirk and a disgusted eyebrow rose.

Roy turned and nearly gagged. "Okay, we'll stop by for a mirror another day." He grabbed Edward's hand and began to walk away dragging him. "Coming, Ed?"

"You bet I am."

_"Stop that."_

"What did I say?" Ed grinned with an innocent smiling playing his features.

The two left as silent as they would ever get, and Armstrong popped his head out of the aisle and looked around. "Mustang? Elric?" He looked around once more and shrugged. He went back to the mirror and continued to admire himself.

* * *

**A/N:** God, that was…weird…yeah…just weird…nothing more to say…just…that…yeah…¬¬ 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	24. Target Practice

**A/N:** I haven't updated lately, and boy do I feel guilty for it. So, to make up for it, I'm updating! I thought I lost one of my stories too, but fortunately, I located it in the back of my closet… Okay, enough rambling…here's a RizaEd drabble. :D

* * *

**Disclaimer:** **I **wanted a piece of pie, but my sister said **don't** touch hers, but to get my** own**, so I le**f**t to get so**m**e pie **a**t the store.

* * *

**Target Practice  
**Riza raised her weapon with expertise and took careful aim at her target. It took her just a second to find her goal and fire several rounds. 

All hit her target.

She placed her weapon into the holster and flipped a nearby switch. The target sheet fluttered for a moment, but then slowly the sheet found its way into her hand. She looked over the bullet holes and a faint yet victorious smile tugged at her lips.

"I hope all that target practice isn't meant for your to perfect your aim at me," a voice said meekly behind her.

Riza turned her head just as soon as the smile found its way into plain sight. "Hello, Edward. No, this practice isn't for you and what are you doing out here?"

Edward approached her smiling foolishly. "Well, that's good to know. I'm here because, well, I was wondering, it you were going to be, you know, free for, well, dinner?" He blushed furiously.

Riza couldn't help but let a soft laugh escape her lips. "You look adorable when you blush."

"Is that a good thing or bad?"

Riza bent over and nuzzled his neck. "I don't know, guess I'll have to find out at dinner tonight, won't I?"

Ed's blushed deepened even more.

* * *

**A/N:** Awww, so cute. :3 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	25. Haunted House

**A/N:** With this story I am one-fourth of the way completed! Huzzah! And this is my first attempt at writing a drabble in which the Elrics are still children. Eh, maybe around 5 or sixish…EEE! Hope it's not too bad! Trisha is in it! _(Points to the mom).

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:** EEE! Child!Edward is so kawaii!

* * *

**Haunted House**

Edward and Alphonse weren't cowards. Honest, they weren't. It's just the house was dark…and spooky…and there was a legend that a wicked old witch lived in it and turned children into mice and fed them to rabid squirrels. And mice they did not want to be…

Edward gulped and roughly elbowed Al in the ribs. "You go in first."

Al jumped and stuttered. "M-me? W-w-why not you? It was your idea!"

"Yeah, but you're taller than me."

"…since when were _you_** proud** of being short?"

"Hey! Just go in!"

"No, you!"

"You!" Edward elbowed his younger brother in the ribs again, only this time to have Al fight back.

"Ow! Eeeeedddd! That hurts!" He retorted by kicking Ed hard in the shin which caused the boy to yelp and jump up and down in pain.

"AL! THAT HURT!"

"Yeah, but you started it!"

"Boys!"

Both Ed and Al looked up to see their mother giving them a stern expression. "What have I told you two before?"

"Not to play in the mud before bed?" Ed suggested hopefully.

_Stare.  
_  
"Yes, but what about the _other_ thing I told you?"

Al looked up and grinned. "Not to stick that weird chocolate looking syrup stuff into Aunty Pinako's brownie mix?"

Trisha shook her head. "No, never mind. Come on, boys, let's go see Winry and—"

"But mom!" Edward shouted, "A mean old witch lives in that house and wants to turn little kids into mice and feed them to rabid squirrels!"

"…have you gotten into your father's secret book stash again?" Trisha gave a slight glare at the boys.

Ed turned so his back was to her. "Eh, maybe."

"For your information, young man," She shook a finger at him, "Aunty Pinako is not a witch! And stay out of your father's books!"

"But mom!"

"No buts, young man," She then smiled, "let's just drop this subject and go visit Winry and her grandma, okay?"

"But mom," Edward groaned again, "I've seen her fly around at night! I've seen her flying around as a bat!" He emphasized his point by flapping his arms.

"EDWARD!"

"Well, it's true." He turned his back again.

Trisha shook her head. No matter what she did, Edward was convinced that Pinako was a witch that could change into a bat. She really needed to get rid of that secret book stash that was now no longer a secret.

* * *

**A/N:** Turned out nothing like I had planned. But I hope that a few of the lines got some chuckles. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	26. Brownies

**A/N:** Remember Drabble Number 1, "No Good"? _(Holds up drabble)_ At last! My latest drabble has been completed! It is the sequel to the first drabble! Huzzah. :D

* * *

**  
Disclaimer:** When the going gets tough, the tough get going, that's our motto!

* * *

**Brownies **

Roy stared at the dish half-expecting for the food to lunge out and eat his face. There was a single slip of paper taped to the lid and there was a note scribbled in Edward's familiar scroll.

**_'Hope you enjoy these brownies. Mrs. Hughes made them, and wanted me to deliver them to you._**

**_-Edward'_**

Okay, so the brownies were from Gracia. Well that's peachy-dandy. Nevertheless…

_Edward _had delivered them. Who knows, maybe it was a trap. Maybe Edward had poisoned them on the way over. On the other hand, maybe Gracia hadn't made them at all and Edward did and did something to them that would cause Roy to suddenly keel over and die.

Whatever it was, the sweet aroma of freshly baked brownies overcame him and he popped the lid off. He felt his mouth water as he reached in and grabbed one off the top of the pile inside. He looked around expectantly again, but then looked back to the brownie.

_It was taunting him. _

He held it up to his mouth, but before he took a bite, he sniffed it. Nothing funny smelling…

He shrugged and popped the entire brownie piece into his mouth. The chocolate fudge melted on contact and he savored the flavor. He paused for a moment.

Nope, he wasn't dead yet. That was a good sign.

Greedily, he popped another brownie into his mouth, and another and another.

He was enjoying the last piece of the snack when he felt a strange feeling…something that only happens when you eat a piece of bad meat or got…

"Oh _shit_," he muttered.

What an ironic choice of words, for seconds later he was running into the bathroom with that urge.

Off to the side of the hallway stood Edward, Riza, Havoc and Gracia. Edward turned around, held up the box of laxatives, and grinned.

It was no lie, really. Gracia _did_ make the brownies. Only, Ed added an extra ingredient.

* * *

**A/N:** I can't believe I had Ed do that as revenge to Roy…oh pity poor Roy. I got this idea with the laxatives from me mum…she's got an evil mind. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	27. Shadows

**A/N**_ (Is still in shock from last drabble.)_ Uh…WinryEd…I guess…o.o

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I still can't get over what I had happen in the last drabble…oh X'Hal, forgive me!

* * *

**Shadows  
**The sun was starting to set on the horizon and Winry was worried. Edward had left early this morning without telling her where he was going and what for, and hadn't bothered to tell Al either. It wasn't like Edward to do something like this. 

Thus, this was the reason why she stood on the dirt road in front of her house waiting expectantly for the young man to return. She held her hands close to her chest with worry and frustration clearly etched on her face.

She turned around to look at the house. The light of the evening sun was reflecting off the windows. She let a soft sigh escape from her lips.

Her gaze went towards the ground where she saw her lone shadow. Its darkness spread across the earth in front of her. She blinked when she saw another shadow come up alongside hers. The arm of it reached out and touched hers.

She turned her head towards the source of the blocked light and saw Edward smiling at her with his hand upon her shoulder. She smiled back at him when he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her inside the house.

* * *

**A/N:** I have no words… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	28. Coffee

**A/N:** Somebody smack me…I am so ashamed of myself. Edward giving Roy laxative infested brownies, then me having Ed go with Winry! What is wrong with me! _(Is smacked). _O.o Okay, I feel better.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I am cleverly disguised as a responsible kid.

* * *

**Coffee**

It was one thing if they were out of the prized source of energy, but it was another when they were refusing to give him any.

Roy glared daggers at the insubordinate 'subordinates' and held a gloved hand up at eye level, ready to snap and toast them into next summer's charcoal for the barbeque. "Give me my coffee."

"I am sorry; sir," Riza started eyeing the glove with her own glare, "but you drink way too much coffee. It isn't good for you."

"And uh—"Havoc noticed the glare and hid behind Riza, "Yeah, what she said."

"You worry about your own health; I'll worry about mine. I need my energy, I need my caffeine, and for all sanity I need my damn coffee!" Roy bellowed.

"Geesh, Roy," A voice chuckled from behind him, "If you want your coffee just get off your lazy ass and get it." Roy turned to deal with the voice's owner but stopped himself from snapping when a coffee cup made its way into his hands. "Here, fixed up the way you like it."

Edward grinned happily as he strutted out the office leaving everyone gaping. Roy peered into his coffee cup and noticed that it was exactly the way he liked it. He smiled inwardly. Edward could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he knew that when Roy was in need of his coffee, it was best to just give it to him.

* * *

**A/N:** Haha! It wasn't a booby-trapped cup of coffee! Edward was being…nice_…(Grins)._ I feel better. :D 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	29. Warm Milk

**A/N:** Okay folks, remember Drabble Number 6 "The Pain of It All"? Here's the sequel! Enjoy! And don't worry **StarryRavenFire**, I'll have a few drabbles with them two together. :D

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Me: What do you call a homunculus named Gluttony when it has half a brain? _(Looks around) _Gifted. :D 

Gluttony: _(Glares)_

Me: And…that folks is my cue to leave. _(Skitters off)

* * *

_

**Warm Milk  
**Edward looked up and tried his best not to look the least bit embarrassed. However, it was very hard to hide brilliant red cheeks against the white winter wonderland around you.

Roy looked at Edward half-amused half agitated. "Well? I am going to ask you again, what are you doing to that flagpole, Fullmetal?"

"I felt bad for it so I gave it a kiss and my tongue got stuck while 'frenching' it, asshole," He hissed the best he could. Once again, very difficult to hiss and talk with your tongue stuck to a flagpole.

Roy chuckled. "Amusing, Edward. No, seriously, what happened?"

"I was trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue when I tripped and flew into this stupid thing. I don't even know what you bother having it, you don't even use it half the time." He struggled to speak. He looked down to see his tongue start changing to a light shade of purple. Not a good sign.

"Catching snowflakes, eh? Well, do you want help getting your tongue unstuck?" Roy snickered at the comment only to get Ed riled up.

"Shut the hell up! It's not funny!"

Roy quickly stopped and put on a serious expression. "You're right. Your tongue is starting to get frost bitten. I know what will help with this. Be back in a minute." With that, he rushed into the building.

Edward stood outside glaring at the metal pole. Stupid pole. Stupid snow. Stupid Roy.

Stupid him.

"Back," Roy approached holding a glass of something with steam coming off it. What, Edward didn't know.

"What is that?" Edward struggled to ask.

"Well, in order to get anything unstuck to metal, you have to heat it up a little. I would've used my alchemy, but your tongue would've probably been reduced to ashes." Ed's eyes widened. "But I'm not. Instead, I'm turning to this alternative solution." He held up the glass. "Warm milk."

"GET THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! WHY NOT WARM WATER OR SOMETHING! NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU PUTTING THAT THING NEAR ME!"

Roy twitched. "You want to be stuck to the flagpole till spring?"

"…"

"Didn't think so…" With that, Roy slowly approached and began to pour the warm beverage onto the spot where the tongue connected to metal.

Ed closed his eyes trying to ignore the fact that his least favorite beverage would be saving him months of embarrassment…well, excluding Roy…and anyone else who might've saw…

"All done."

Ed looked down to see that his tongue was no longer connected to the flagpole. He slipped it back into his mouth and tried to regain some feeling into it. But, in doing so, he brought in the flavor of warm milk.

"Thanks." Ed growled. He turned to walk away when Roy called out from behind him.

"Remember, Edward, milk is your friend!"

_'Splat.' _

Roy was hit right in the face with a snowball.

* * *

**A/N:** Milk has calcium, which helps make strong bones. DRINK MILK! (Ed glares.) Okay, or not. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	30. Fish Wars

**A/N:** Five drabbles a day will keep the men in white coats away! Yay for implied RoyEdness!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Let me get a big 'hell-yeah' from the RoyEd fans like me! **HELL YEAH!**

* * *

**Fish Wars  
**Roy and Ed grinned at each other with competitive smirks. The Taisa sat on one side of the coffee table while Ed sat on the opposite side. They leaned forward and stared into the fish bowl. 

"Oh yeah, my fish is_ soooo_ bigger than yours," Roy commented smirking triumphantly.

"Yeah, well, size doesn't matter cause my fish will beat up your fish!" Edward shook a fist at Roy.

"My fish will beat up yours!"

"_Na-ah!_ Mine will!"

"Mine!"

Riza then walked in carrying a plastic bag full of water and held a single fish in it. She had a placid look on her face as she tipped the bag and the pet slid into the bowl where Ed and Roy's fishes were. She sat down between the two and just stared into the bowl calmly.

Riza's fish looked around in the bowl for a little bit before spotting the two other fish. Edward swore he saw that fish grin as it swam right for his and devoured it instantly.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Roy burst out laughing as the fish smacked its lips. Riza's fish then turned and faced Roy's pet with the same look, and instantly dove for it and ate it whole. Roy instantly stopped laughing and stared.

Riza picked up the bag, slipped it into the bowl, and filled it up with water before she led her pet into the bag. She left the room without saying a word.

Ed and Roy stared into the now empty fish bowl in disbelief.

"…next time, we don't tell Riza when we have a fish war." Edward nodded in agreement numbly.

* * *

**A/N:** This was actually inspired by a Teen Titans comic I read on Deviant Art. It was adorable, and I remembered it when I was thinking up stuff to write. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	31. Kites

**A/N:** Eh…nothing to say. Except implied RoyEd. _(Drools).

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:** Warning: State Law Prohibits Drooling While Reading RoyEd Fan fiction.

Me: _(drools anyway)

* * *

_

**Kites**

It wasn't that Edward couldn't fly a kite, it was just, well, he hated kites. They didn't like to fly for him anyway, so he just trashed any kite that got near him and used it for preparing fires.

It was a windy day when he saw that damned kite in the sky a few yards away over the hill. He couldn't see who was flying it, but he would be damned if he let that thing fly any longer.

He marched over the hill to see Roy standing there just tugging the string gently, keeping the kite a decent distance away from the ground. Edward just stared in amusement and disbelief. _Since when did __Roy__ like to fly kites? _

Roy looked over and waved when he saw Edward. He motioned for him to approach, so Ed did. When Ed was a foot away Roy held out the string. "Here."

Ed stared blankly. "Uh…"

"You fly it. I'll be right here."

Ed's eyes traveled to the string and back to Roy. Roy had a kind smile on his face, one that was hard to resist. He felt his cheeks heat up.

He took the string without any further argument and just watched as the kite bobbed up and down in the air. Roy tiptoed behind Edward and wrapped an arm around his waste, surprising the blond for a moment. Roy's other hand traveled to Ed's, which was grasping the string.

He leaned over, placed a gentle kiss on the top of the boy's head and continued to aid in flying the kite without another word.

Edward's face was a fluent red, but he didn't care. He liked flying kites now.

* * *

**A/N:** _(drools…)_ Oh, uh, yeah…okay...uh…RoyEdness! _(Points to drabble)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	32. Candy Apples

**A/N:** Oi, not RoyEd. _(weeps)_ It's AlWinry. Hey, gotta give Roy and Ed some breaks to go…to…somewhere…yeah…they need some quality time alone. _(winks) _Oh, and in this drabble Al has his body back. Yay for the power of Fanfiction!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I like candy apples. They are yummy.

* * *

**Candy Apples**

Winry watched in amusement as Al fumbled to keep from dropping all the ingredients to make the delicious candy apples all over the floor. She reached over, grabbed a few of the items and placed them on the counter. Al blushed.

"Whoops…" He laughed nervously.

She grinned back. "It's okay. Now, where did I put that recipe…?"

Al held up a piece of paper that was obviously clipped out a newspaper. Winry grabbed it and scanned the sheet quickly.

"Okay, we got all the ingredients. It says that we should insert a wooden craft stick, or Popsicle stick, into the bottom of each apple. Then grease a cookie sheet and set aside." Winry watched as Al did that to the six apples that they had chosen and then went and greased the cookie sheet. He looked up when he completed the task.

"Okay, what next?"

"It says to combine sugar, corn syrup and water in a heavy saucepan over medium heat. Heat, without stirring, to 270-290 degrees or until a small amount of syrup dropped into cold-water forms hard but pliable threads. Remove from heat and stir in candies and food coloring until just mixed."

Winry took out the pan, placed a candy thermometer into the side, and began to add the ingredients. As both waited, Winry read on out-loud.

"Lastly, holding each apple by its stick, quickly twirl in syrup, tilting pan to cover apple. Lift out of syrup, turning to allow drips to adhere to apple. Place apples on prepared baking sheet to cool completely."

Al looked into the pan and grinned. "I think it's ready." He retrieved the apples and both began to dunk the apples instead.

Al spilled some all over the floor and Winry accidentally spilled some onto her pants. Neither of them noticed; for they were too busy staring at how their apples were stuck together in the pan.

"I hope Ed doesn't mind getting these two."

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, those are instructions on making candy apples. Yum! Just, I didn't list the ingredients. :X I did a google search and found it. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	33. Popcorn

**A/N:** Er…nothing to say, really, for now. Uh, enjoy RoyEdness:D Oh, and pretend that they have black-and-white TVs during their time. Ah, fan fiction. Gotta love it.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** _(singing to the "Klondike Bar" theme)_ What would you dooooo, for some RoyEdness?

* * *

**Popcorn  
**Edward pulled the blanket around his head as Roy turned out the lights in the living room. It was 'movie' night, as Roy called it, and Edward wasn't really looking forward to it. After all, he never knew what Roy had stuffed up his evil sleeves. And this was his first time going to the man's house. 

Roy seated himself beside the boy with a bowl of snacks and noticed that the blonde was hiding under the blankets. He rolled his eyes, placed the bowl on the coffee table, and pulled the top part of the blanket and peeked down at him. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Roy pulled the blanket down so Edward's face was exposed. The boy looked mightily disgruntled, and tried to pull the blankets over his head again.

"Why do you keep on trying to hide under that blanket?"

"Cause knowing you, this movie is probably gruesome and disgusting and I'll probably vomit or—"

"—or," Roy interrupted, "maybe it's not. Maybe it's just a simple movie with nothing of the sort and would you please stop fidgeting like that?"

Edward peeked out from under the blankets. He had scooted away from the man so he was almost to the edge of the couch. "I smell something good."

Roy held out the snack bowl. "Is it this?"

Edward leaned out and sniffed it. He grinned when Roy pulled the bowl away. "Yeah, what is that stuff?"

"Popcorn."

Ed faltered. "Say what?"

Roy held out the bowl. "Try some. You'll like it."

"How do I know you're not trying to kill me?"

Roy scowled, took a scoopful of popcorn and shoved it into his mouth. He crunched for a bit before he swallowed. "There, do I look dead?"

"Well—"

"Never mind, Edward." Roy scowled some more as he leaned back just as the movie began to start.

Edward decided that maybe, just maybe, Roy wasn't up to no good. He scooted close to the man and snuggled up to his side so his head was on his shoulder. He reached into the bowl to grab some popcorn, but Roy had already beaten it to him. The older man held out several pieces of the snack in front of the boy's mouth. Edward opened his mouth, Roy quickly slipped them onto his tongue, and Edward closed his mouth.

Yum, buttery, yet salty. Good flavor.

Edward munched happily on the popcorn for the rest of the movie, and didn't notice that Roy was staring at him the whole time with a mischievous glint in his eye.

_'Edward is sooooo going to be savoring something **other** than **popcorn** tonight.'

* * *

_

**A/N:** Evil!Roy strikes when you least expect it! _(Runs around screaming)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	34. Waffles

**A/N:** I'd like to give credit to joyfullness one for coming up with this topic for me to write for. Thankies. :D

Also, I'd like to note something else: I will be doing other pairings on these drabbles…it's just, well, RoyEd is so much fun to write for. XP But I will do some other pairings, like in this drabble in fact. :D How about we have some Riza and Roy, shall we?

I've never really noticed that they were named after food. Lol. Go food! And go **crazykitsune17 **for noticing that and telling me! Lol.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Leggo my Eggo!

* * *

****

Waffles

"Are you sure about this, sir?" Riza took the menu from the waiter obligingly and peered back at the Taisa nervously.

"It's just some breakfast, Lieutenant. Now pick out something."

Riza bit the inside of her lip as her eyes scanned the plastic folder in front of her. There were several different meals that looked good, but sleepless nights had taken its toll on her appetite.

"I think I'll have the waffles."

Roy looked up. "Just waffles?"

"Two waffles with strawberry topping, and a cup of coffee."

"Don't you want something bigger? Like the _Lumberjack Special _or something?"

Riza folded the menu and placed it on the table. "I'm not very hungry."

Roy nodded just as the waiter came over. "She'll have two waffles with strawberry topping and a cup of coffee. I'll have two waffles also but plain please. I'll also have a cup of coffee."

The waiter jotted it down and replied that they would return with the coffee.

Riza raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you like small meals?"

Roy looked up with a smile. "As you said, I'm not very hungry."

The woman rolled her eyes. She watched lazily as Roy reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small black box and place it in front of her. She eyed it curiously.

"Go ahead, open it." Roy encouraged her.

She held back, in slight reluctance, but finally gave in and reached for the box. She took it between her fingers and opened it slowly. Her eyes widened and she gasped.

"Roy…"

"Riza, will you marry me?"

* * *

**A/N:** Awww…so fluffy… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	35. Pie

**A/N:** Another drabble…food again. XP Random pairing I drew out of a hat. RizaHavoc. Lol. And Riza can bake! Glee!

* * *

**Disclaimer: **Crazy/insane or insane/crazy?

* * *

**Pie**

Havoc chewed on the filter of his cigarette and groaned. He was utterly bored, no doubt about it. There was no shrimp to annoy, no Colonel to harass, no Fuery to tease, and no one else was around at the moment.

Naturally, Hawkeye would've been at her desk working but she had the day off. Even then, she came in just to chat and help out around the office. It seemed today she finally had something to do that involved being out of office. Wow, she did have a life that didn't involve babysitting the Colonel or dragging Edward away from the office during his tantrums.

Suddenly, a wonderful scent smacked him in the face. He shot up from his seat and sniffed the air rapidly. No, it wasn't perfume…but it smelled damn good. Was it…pie?

Riza poked her head into the room where Havoc was located and flashed a smile. "Jean, are you busy?"

Havoc leaned over his desk and saw that she was holding a white box. It was a pie!

"Uh, no, not really, why?"

She walked in and pulled a chair up to his desk and smiled. She pulled out two forks from a bag at her side with a few napkins and placed them on the desk. She then placed the box onto the desk in front of both of them and spoke. "I baked an apple pie while I was home today, and was wondering , well, if you would like to have some." She held out a fork and grinned. "After all, Roy would be too busy with paperwork, Ed and Al are busy traveling, and everyone else is busy with their own thing--"

Havoc took the fork and grinned. "I would love to."

* * *

**A/N:** Yum, pie. Brings people together in the most unexpected of ways. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	36. Questions

**A/N:** This is for my friend **StarryRavenFire** because of her love for EdRose. Heehee…enjoy! And WinryEd lovers, don't bash me! I like that pairing too! _(hides)**

* * *

**_

**Disclaimer: **The day where elephants sing and the clouds turn to marshmallows will be the day where I own FMA. _(turns on television to show a kid program with singing elephants and the clouds are made of marshmallows) _0.0 Sweet!

* * *

**Questions**

Rose watched as the young alchemist approached her. It had been a few years since they had last seen each other, it was a wonder that he even remembered her."What are you doing here?"

"Why wouldn't I come to visit you?"

She faltered before she thought up another question. "Why would you want to see me?"

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?"

Rose bit her lip. So, he was playing a question game. Two could play this one. "Don't you have a girl back at your hometown that wants you?"

"Why would she be my girl?"

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

She gaped. _"What?"_

Edward approached, took her hands in his, kissed the tops of them and smiled. "Will you be my girl?"

Rose returned the smile and pulled him so they were closer and his lips were close to hers. "Why wouldn't I be your girl?"

* * *

**A/N:** Aww…I love the question game. :D 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	37. Canned Cat Food

**A/N:** Okay, this was an idea actually inspired by actual events. I'll tell you the short story at the end. _(grins) _I didn't mean to do it! I was only three! And…don't read if you got an uneasy stomach…lol. HavocFuery.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Whiskas, it's what cats want. _(meow)**

* * *

**_****

Canned Cat Food

Havoc threw open the fridge door and looked inside for something, anything, that was edible and not past its expiration date. There were hundreds of unlabeled cans, but some had expiration dates printed on them.

_'Why am I at Fuery's again?'_ He pondered to himself. He saw a can of something that looked edible, took it out and sniffed it. It smelled like tuna fish. _'I know why, because I was too busy daydreaming and idiotically agreed to help him with moving the animals to the animal facility. Ugh, I gotta stop staring at his ass.'_

Havoc took the can and grabbed two slices of bread from the bread box and made himself a quick sandwich. He ate it reluctantly and ran outside to help his friend.

-----

Fuery led Havoc, whom was carrying a cat, into the kitchen and asked him to seat himself. The short man opened the door to the fridge and began to look around for something. He looked up to Havoc worriedly.

"I thought I put a can of cat food in here. I can't find it anymore, but I swear it was in here this morn--Havoc? Are you okay?"

Havoc had made a mad dash for the sink and was guzzling as much water into his system as he could. So, it wasn't tuna fish, _it was damn canned cat food!

* * *

_

**A/N:** Well, the story is when I was three years old I wanted to do something special for a relative of mine, so I made a sandwich for him. I didn't know that it was canned cat food, because all the tuna fish and the canned cat food cans looked alike…he ate it, and finally another relative told him what was in it and…yeah…I felt so bad I never made a sandwich for him again. _(Sweatdrops) _I was a little kid! I couldn't help it.

-Mint Pizza Queen


	38. Sunburn

**A/N:** This one I already had written out, so that's why it's RoyEd implied. _(hides)**

* * *

**_

**Disclaimer:** Suing is bad, so I don't own FMA.

* * *

****

Sunburn

Roy walked down the hallway with his stacks of paperwork grumbling. It wasn't fair! Why did he have to do all this crap?

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of giggles and snickers. He peered over the stack and saw his subordinates, including Riza Hawkeye, standing outside his office clucking away like a group of chickens.

"Did you see--"

"Yeah! Did you?"

"I can't believe it!"

Roy emitted a growl from his throat which could've been mistaken for a clearing of his throat. Everyone instantly stopped chatting. They looked up and parted for him, enabling him entrance to his office.

Roy entered his office and just about dropped everything he was holding. His bad mood had instantly taken a 180 and now he was trying desperately not to giggle like a school girl.

Sitting on the edge of his desk was Edward Elric, face and arms as red as a broiled lobster.

"Not. A Word."

Roy chuckled. "Edward-kun, I knew you had a short temper, but I didn't know that it was short enough to get your red in the face."

"Roy," Edward seethed, "don't push it."

"What's the matter, shrimp-san? You can't get any redder than you already are!"

Edward jumped up from the desk and instantly punched Roy in the jaw with his flesh hand. He soon regretted it when the sunburned skin began to sting.

"AAAAAH! IT HURTS!" Edward gritted his teeth as he slowly sat down on the couch.

Roy took this to his advantage and seated himself beside the boy. No little shrimp was going to get away with punching him in the face…

Poke.

Ed glared at Roy as he bit his tongue.

Poke. Poke.

"Ow…" Edward finally let the word slide off his tongue.

_Jab. Jab._

Ed seethed as Roy jabbed his finger onto his burnt flesh. "Ow! Stop that!"

Roy smirked. He took his hand and rubbed it hard on the bridge of Ed's nose. He could feel the heat radiating off the boy's skin.

Ed's eyes swelled with tears. It hurt like hell, damnit! "Rooooooy! Please stop!" He pleaded.

When Roy ignored his pleas, Edward decided that it was time to take action. He raised his fist and socked the Taisa in the face instead of the jaw and sent him keeling backwards out cold.

Ed blinked in surprise at the heap of Roy on the floor. Havoc poked his head in the room and grinned. He entered chuckling.

"Oi! Good job boss, you knocked him out cold!" With that, he playfully slapped Ed on the back.

A scream emitted from the boy and echoed throughout the headquarters. Ed had slightly forgotten to mention about his sunburned back…

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say.

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	39. Soda

**A/N:** Back again with another drabble. :3 No real pairing, unless you're obsessive and like to take any little characters and put them together just because they appear together…yeah…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I like soda…it has caffeine…yum…energy…I don't own Mountain Dew.

* * *

**Soda**

Roy stared at the heaps of papers in front of him. He bowed his head in frustration and tugged at his hair groaning. He resisted the temptation to torch all twenty stacks and claim that it was an 'accidental malfunction' with his alchemy.

Riza would prove that useless because she would just call in Edward and have him transmute the ashes back to the sheets of paper they once were. Plus, she kept backups of each form.

Roy looked from the papers to his coffee cup. That's what he needed, _coffee_! He needed _energy_! He needed **_caffeine_**!

He grabbed his cup and looked into it with a frown. There wasn't a drop of the energy provider to be seen in the porcelain item. _Sigh._

"Riza, is there any coffee left?"

"No sir! Havoc and Hughes finished it up earlier! I've already sent Armstrong downtown to get some fresh coffee and should be back in a few!"

Roy slumped in his seat. Knowing Armstrong, he would run into a fellow companion from his past and talk with that someone for an hour at least about the _Armstrong Family Heritage _and all that jazz. He groaned. He needed caffeine and he needed it **now**.

"Is there anybody who is willing to give up their cup of coffee?"

Riza poked her head in. "Actually, sir, there is a new product out on the market that has stuff in it that I am sure you would probably agree is an energy booster."

Roy's eyes traveled to Hawkeye. "What?"

She flashed a small smile and held out a can. Roy took it hesitantly and read the label. "_Mountain Dew_?"

"Product name."

"Okay, well, what is it?"

Riza put a finger to her lips thoughtfully. "I believe they called it _'soda'_. I bought some the other day to give it a try, but I haven't yet. It's a wonderful beverage according to Edward, though."

Roy rolled his eyes. "He'd say that poison was a wonderful beverage just to get me to drink it and die."

"Sir!"

"Well, he would!"

Riza huffed and marched out. "He wouldn't say that to me because I respect him! You don't though!"

Roy stared at the can and finally gave in. He would try it, just to see if it did indeed have the so called _'energy booster'…_

-----

"**YEAH! **WE SHOULD HAVE THESE IN EVERY OFFICE!" Roy slurped down another soda and scribbled away on the forms and tossed them as he signed each one.

Edward and Riza stood in the doorway and watched as the papers flew. Edward looked from the Taisa to Riza and stepped back. If he didn't know any better, he could've swore Riza had stars in her eyes from the pure joy that Roy was actually getting work done.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh God, what have I done? 

Riza: A very good thing! He's getting work done! _(stars in eyes)_

Ed: I am never, ever, ever, EVER going to tell you about anything new on the market! _(huffs off) _

Riza: What's his problem?

Roy: _(swinging from the ceiling) _YAAAAAAAAAAY!

Riza: SIR! GET DOWN FROM THERE!

-Mint Pizza Queen


	40. Dancing

**A/N:** This is for** Zeppelin** who betted me to write a BarryRiza drabble. I shall write a BarryFarman later on. For now, enjoy this one! I'd like to also thank **joyfullness one** for coming up with a topic. Thanks!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Dance like no one is watching._ (dances)_

* * *

**Dancing**

Riza sat on the porch glumly. It was almost three in the morning, and she couldn't sleep…thanks to a certain…well, she couldn't think of a good name for him, so she settled for '_annoying pest'_.

Barry sat next to her with the little pink hearts still settled where his eyes would've been. If he could, he'd drool all over the place. _'She's so hot, I just wanna chop her up!'_

"What did you say your name was again, missy?"

"Riza." She narrowed her eyes and looked in the other direction, hopefully giving the pest the idea that she didn't feel like talking.

"Riza, pretty name for such a pretty little lady!"

"…" _'Where was that damn Colonel?'_

"My name's Barry, in case if you've forgotten."

Riza finally turned so she was facing him and rested her chin on the palm of her hand. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

Riza pouted. "Chop up people and come to me at three in the morning?"

"I chopped up people because it was fascinating and because my wife bugged me."

"…"

"--and I came to you cause, missy, I miss you!" He instantly wrapped his arms around her, causing her eyes to bug out.

"Th-that's nice."

"I know! Say, the moon's looking really pretty bright tonight, wanna dance?"

Riza felt his arms release her and she scooted away. "Say what?"

If he had eyebrows he would've been wiggling them. "Do you want to dance? I've never got to dance with such a pretty lady. I never even got to dance with my wife because her daddy wanted to dance with her!" He seemed to seethe at the thought.

Riza blinked. "Uh, well…"

'What would the Colonel think?'

'He's not here to think.'

'So?'

'So, what he don't know won't hurt him. And do you honestly think he'll drag his ass out of his bed for ten damn minutes to take this…kind, flattering, respectful--'

'Wait, he's a murderer though.'

'So?'

'Just trying to imply something here. Murderer? Chops up women? Remember?'

'He asked if he could chop you, you said no, and so he didn't. He likes you! Er…me! Er…us! GAH! JUST DANCE WITH HIM!'

"Uh, okay." Riza was about to push herself off the steps when a hand was held out in front of her. If Barry was able to smile, his would've went from to ear to ear. She took it hesitantly and he pulled her to the sidewalk.

He took her hand in his and wrapped his other around her waist. Riza wrapped her free hand around the back of his neck and he began to lead her gently.

'Okay, you happy? I'm dancing. With a psycho murderer who's supposed to be dead.'

****

'Aw, thank you! Say, do you think he would want to move in with us?'

'We are NOT going to discuss that.'

* * *

**A/N:** lol. Riza's fighting with herself mentally. And Barry got to dance with her. Lol.

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	41. Future

**A/N:** I'd like to thank joyfullness one for this topic! Thankies! No real couplings, unless you want to squint and call it Elricest. I doubt it is. Eh. _(shrugs)_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer: **I see in the future…one day…eventually…eh, who am I kidding? Never gonna happen. I'll never own FMA! _(sobs)_

_

* * *

_****

Future

Alphonse often wondered what the future held in store for both him and his brother. He wondered if he would ever have his body back, fully intact and still remember his brother. He wondered if his brother would get back his limbs he lost.

He wondered if he would be able to touch his brother. He wondered if his skin was as soft as it appeared, and if his hair was as silky as it shined. He wondered if his brother was as warm as he remembered, and he wondered if his embrace was as tight as he recalled. Did Ed smell as good as he did when he was child? These questions nagged at the younger Elric.

Alphonse wondered if his brother would allow him to embrace him for hours. Would Ed allow him to sleep in the same bed as him just to feel the warmth he once felt as a child? Would Ed allow Al to have his new flesh hands travel over the older Elric's body just to feel the softness and warmth? Would Ed allow Al to taste the older Elric's salty tears that came from tears of joy?

Alphonse then had a strange idea come to mind. Would Ed love him more or less than when they were kids? Would he look hideous if the transmutation was a failure? What if he didn't even get back to his body? What if Ed left him like their father left their mother?

"Al, are you okay?" Ed's golden eyes peered up worriedly from armfuls of books.

Al would've smiled if he could, but all he did was nod. "I am fine. I was just thinking."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Al looked from the books and to the sky. "Not at the moment."

* * *

**A/N:** Eh…something random. It's what happens when you listen to the song sung by Paku Romi! Glee! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	42. Dress Up

**A/N:** Another drabble. _(skitters off) _RoyEd. Well, actually evil!Ed and slave!Roy.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Contains: One Edward Elric, One Roy Mustang, One Maes Hughes (one camera, photos, and one psychotic grin), and trace amounts of subordinates.

* * *

****

Dress Up

Roy groaned loudly as Edward placed a frilly pink hat onto the Taisa's head. "Edward, please, what if I get caught looking like this?"

Edward stuck his lower lip out in a pout. "So, you won't keep your promise?"

"Edward, I said I was going to dress up with you, but I meant at home!"

Edward made his eyes water up pitifully. "You--you won't even keep your promise? WHAT KIND OF LOVER ARE YOU?"

Roy wanted the ground to swallow him whole. "Please don't shout Ed, just--go ahead, let's play dress up."

Edward instantly became happy again and began to apply make up that Winry had lent him for their game. "This is so much fun, Roy!"

Roy rolled his eyes as Ed applied blush to his cheeks. "Ed, I have a question…"

Ed hummed happily. "Yes, Roy?"

"Do I get to dress you up?"

Ed pondered for a moment. "Well, I suppose you could…Equivalent Exchange, after all."

Roy smirked. He had major plans for the boy.

"There!" Ed stepped back to admire his handy work. Roy was dressed in a pink tank top and was wearing a pair of shorts that were a wee bit too small. Ed didn't mind that though, he got to see some curves in places he only got to see in bed. Roy had on the pink frilly hat that ultimately matched the pink applied to his cheeks and lips.

Ed tilted his head. "It's missing something…"

"…"

"I know!" Ed flew forwards with Winry's makeup and applied eye shadow.

"When do I get to dress you up?"

Ed paused. "In a minute. Okay Hughes!"

Roy faltered. "WHAT?"

_Click._

Hughes grinned insanely from ear to ear when the camera flashed. Havoc and a few other subordinates stood behind him, each with their own psychotic grin.

"Well, Roy, I've never knew…"

"Yeah, Roy, when did this sex change happen?"

_Twitch. Twitch._

Edward popped up beside Roy and grabbed his cheeks and squeezed them. "He didn't have a change! He's still my Roy! And Maes, I want three Full Portraits and eight Wallet Sized please!"

Roy watched as Edward flicked off the hat grinning. "Why would you want that many?"

"Well, I want one Full Portrait for back at your house, one for when I go to Winry's, another for the office, and then the Wallet Sized I'm handing out to everybody! Of course keeping one for myself and one for you…"

Roy grabbed Ed's arm and scowled. "My turn."

Ed hid his nervousness with a smile. "You're going to go easy on me, right?"

"Well, since I'm not able to get any women into a miniskirt, I think this will be an excellent opportunity to make my dream come true…only with a man."

Ed's eyes widened. "You're joking, right?"

"Nope."

"Damn."

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah_…(sweat drops)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	43. Snow

**A/N:** I still adore the BarryRiza story. I can't get over it. It was so adorable. In a creepy kind of way…oh yeah, Royai. Enjoy!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Fluff isn't just a nutritious part of an unbalanced breakfast, it is also a type of love! Now FLUFF IT!

* * *

****

Snow

Riza brought the jacket closer to herself and felt a shiver. She hated the snowy season because it made getting to work a royal pain in the ass and plus…

"Achoo!"

It was flu season.

She sniffled and brought the scarf over her mouth and up to her nose. Why did this morning have to be the morning that her car broke down? She should've called the mechanic, or even Ed to have him give it a quick fix! But it wouldn't be fair to have the kid come over just to fix a vehicle.

So, she walked.

A car passed her throwing a cloud of snow up and onto her. She scowled and was resisting the temptation to chase after it, throw the driver out and drive that to work.

The car was long gone by now.

'_Damn,_' She cursed.

Just as she finished brushing snow off, a familiar black car pulled up and the door flew open. Roy hopped out and rushed over.

"Riza? What are you doing walking to work in this snow?"

"My car's broke down. I had no choice."

Roy looked unconvinced about the_ 'no choice'_ part. "You could've called me!"

Riza sniffled. She never thought to call him.

Roy took her by the arm, led her to the passenger side of the vehicle and opened the door for her. She gratefully climbed in and he drove to work with the heat on full blast to warm up the freezing woman.

Roy kept glancing at the woman before he finally spoke. "You know, Riza, I could drop you off at the office and have Ed check on the car right now if you want."

Riza rubbed her hands together trying to obtain heat. "Nah, it's okay. I'll just get a ride to work until I can get a new car. That thing was bound to croak any day now."

"Ed could probably make a new car."

Riza looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you so persistent on having the car fixed? I can manage to walk to work in the snow once in a while. Besides, the sidewalks will be cleared by the time I'm out of work later."

"But what if you get caught in a snow storm on the way home from work one day? What then?"

Riza shrugged. "I know people along my route, I'll just ask to stay with one of them until it clears."

"I won't allow that, Hawkeye. Either have your car fixed, have Ed make a new one for you, or you get a ride to work from me."

She raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "With you?"

Roy noticed what he said and faltered. "Er, well, I do live closer to you than anyone else and--well…"

"Havoc lives as far away from me as you do."

Roy puffed his chest out. "So, do you see him giving you a ride?"

Riza rolled her eyes. It was hopeless to argue with the man. But, she wasn't complaining. A ride with Roy was quite enjoyable.

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	44. Mom

**A/N:** Another update_. (head falls on desk and falls asleep) _Warning…_zzzz_…not humorous….not romantic…more…angst_…zzzz_...oh, and thanks to joyfullness one for the topic to write about._

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:** _Zzzzz…_

_

* * *

_****

Mom

Edward couldn't help but just stare. His heart felt weak in his chest as the name ran through his mind over and over again.

'Trisha Elric'.

Edward ignored the presence behind him. He was too enveloped in the stone that laid in the ground before him bearing the name and pointing to the presence of his deceased mother.

"Edward?"

The blond bit back tears that threatened to fall. It wasn't worth it to cry, it would just bring more pain. _Ignore the presence of tears and ignore the pain in your heart, be strong,_ he had told himself countless times.

If he was so strong, why did he keep coming back to her grave?

'Because I'm nothing but a petty little boy who can't seem to stay away from mommy long enough.'

"Fullmetal?"

"What?" His voice was harsh, as he intended it to be. A hand gripped onto his shoulders just as harshly.

"You can't do this to yourself."

'Why not? I've been doing this to myself since that night where me and Al failed to bring her back. Why can't I now?'

"Why not?"

"It'll kill you like it killed your mother."

Edward shot around and glared angrily at the Taisa. He wanted to punch the man, kick him, bite him, tear him apart limb by limb, anything to shut this man up and keep him from saying the truth.

'The truth hurts, don't it kid? Face it, you'll never be able to bring back your mommy. You'll end up dead, just like her. Like the man said.'

The tears that Ed desperately tried to hide finally ran down his face and fell to the ground. He couldn't take it anymore. He dropped to his knees and finally was overcome by choking sobs that wracked his entire body.

Roy kneeled beside him and wrapped his arms around Edward.

'I won't let it kill you, Edward. Neither will your mom's essence. We're both here.'

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing

.**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	45. Chibi

**A/N:** Yay! This (I think) is the first time I'm making Envy make an appearance! Yay! Why Envy now? Well, the title should tell us everything. _(winks) _Thanks joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Oi! Hagane no chibi-san! 

Ed: I AM NOT A FULLMETAL CHIBI!

Envy: _(cackles)_

_

* * *

_****

Chibi

Edward was pissed. Not pissed as in _'I hate you'_, but in the _'I-want-to-tear-you-apart-because-I-hate-you-with-every-fiber-of-my-being' _pissed.

Roy had taken the liberty to round up a group of subordinates and had come up with a lovely song entitled _"The Short Alchemist". _They even took the liberty to sing it with instruments.

Riza had to say that it had a good beat, but bad lyrics. Edward just told them to shove the lyrics (and instruments) up their asses and rot in hell.

So, here he was stomping out of the building, face redder than his jacket and steam pouring out of his ears. He had to leave, or else he would've blown the place apart with a single clap.

Suddenly, a voice called out from the roof top. "Oi! Shortie! Why do you look so…perturbed?"

_Twitch. Twitch. Vein throb._

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP WHO CAN'T EVER SEE OVER A SPECK OF SAND ON THE GROUND?"

"…what the hell is with you?" Envy blinked quizzically at the alchemist.

"What is with me?" Ed asked exasperatedly, "What is with everyone else? WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON MY HEIGHT?"

Envy leaped down beside him and grinned. "Because you're short."

"I AM NOT A SHRIMP!"

Thwack.

Envy grinned as Edward rubbed his tender skull. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU HIT ME FOR?"

Envy waved the piece of wood threateningly. "Don't make me use this on your cranium, it's bad enough I almost broke it on your skull."

"Well, then don't hit me with it!"

Envy sighed and strutted a few steps away from the alchemist. "That's it, if you're going to be a cranky little alchemist…"

"I'M NOT LITTLE!"

"…then I'll be on my way. Toodles _hagane no chibi-san_!"

With that Envy took off across the roof tops.

Edward gritted his teeth. His face red and smoke billowed out his nose and ears. "I'll kill that bastard," he gritted his teeth.

"Did that palm-tree creature call you _hagane no chibi-san_?" Roy called out from the window with Havoc peeking out from the other.

Ed threw a fist up and yell. "Yeah, what's it to you?"

"I think I'll start calling you the **_Fullmetal Chibi_**!" Roy grinned and slammed the window shut.

"DON'T YOU DARE! ROY? ROY, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? Damn…I hate Envy…"

* * *

**A/N:** Poor Edward. Hagane no chibi-san_…(chuckles) _I love that name. :D 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	46. Laugh Out Loud

**A/N:** OMG This has to be the best idea I have ever been told to do. **Joyfullness one**…you rock. I credit you for this story once more because you came up with the idea! Thank you so much!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** OMGWTFBBQLOLZ. O.o

* * *

**Laugh Out Loud **

Ed and Roy sat at opposite ends of the long table in the library passing off glares at each other. Well, Ed was giving the glares and Roy was giving smirks, which caused the glares from Ed to get bigger, which just made Roy make bigger smirks.

Riza had stuck them in the library after the two alchemists started bashing each other in front of her desk, and told them not to make any physical contact and not to talk. Oh, and she stuck them in there with about a year's supply of paperwork.

Roy scribbled on the back of one of the sheets of paper, then grinned and grabbed another sheet. Edward glared, but watched in interest. Roy began scribbling random things on the sheet with the pencil with great focus. Soon, he looked up and about to make sure no one was watching. He folded the sheet a few times so it was into a small sized rectangle and chucked it at Ed.

_'Thwack'. _

It smacked Ed on the nose, who bared his teeth and appeared as if he were going to lunge at Roy. Roy made a slight hiss and pointed to the paper. Ed looked at it, then grabbed it and opened it up. There was a note.

**_'Ed, you should see your expressions that you make. They are hilarious, like the height you lack…lol.' _**

_'Foam. Rage. Twitch. Rawr.' _

_Wait a second, lol? What the hell is a lol? _

Ed grabbed his own pen and began to scribble a reply. He folded it up and chucked it back at Roy, who caught it with ease. _Damn him._

Roy looked at the paper and smirked. He quickly scribbled something on it, and then instead of tossing the paper back, placed it on the table and flicked it at Ed. It almost hit him square between the eyes. He managed to stop it with his flesh hand before it did do any real damage. He opened the note and read the reply.

**_'For a teen who goes all over the place and learns a lot, you sure don't know some of the simple stuff from around home.' _**

_'Foam. Rage. Spasm.' _

Ed scribbled vigorously and flicked it back at Roy (who once again caught it with ease). He read it, and then rolled his eyes. He scribbled quickly and flicked it at Ed. Ed caught it and read the reply.

**_'Now now, no need to get testy, pipsqueak.' _**

Okay, that did it. Edward lunged out of his chair at the unsuspecting Roy and they both went flying head over teakettle backwards. Hawkeye, who just so happened to enter the neighborhood, caught both of them by the scruff of their shirts and dragged them back to her office.

-----

"Now, I don't want any more trouble out of either one of you, you hear?" She narrowed her eyes and went to fetch herself a cup of coffee.

Roy peeked over from the corner and made a _'psst'_ noise. Edward looked over and glared.

"What?" Ed hissed with a whisper.

"For your information,_ lol_ means '_laugh out loud'_."

Ed groaned loudly. He should've known.

"QUIET IN THERE!"

_"STFU!" _

* * *

**A/N:** I couldn't resist the last line. I thought of it just before I posted it and added it right at the last minute. XD For those who don't know it, lol means '_laugh out loud'_, like Roy said, and STFU means '_shut the fuck up'_. And would you look it that? Ed didn't know what lol meant but he suuuuure did know what STFU meant! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen **


	47. Bunny

**A/N:** Thankies to joyfullness one for the topic to write about! Also, **Sika Kuriyama**, keep an eye out for that requested HavocRoy drabble, kaykay? _(winks)_ It shall be written! Also the BarryFarman shall be written, as well as other couplings. :3

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Plot bunnies are evil, but what about the bunnies that Ed finds?

* * *

**Bunny**

"Edward, I don't know why you're asking me if you can keep the rabbit!" Roy threw his hands up in the air. "Your brother could probably take care of the thing—"

"IT'S NOT A THING, IT'S A BUNNY!"

"When did you suddenly get as soft as one of those marshmallow peeps?"

"Well, since we're living together now, I thought that it would be nice to have a pet around the house, excluding you," Edward struggled to keep down a snicker as Roy faltered at the comment, "and well, on the way here I found this bunny all alone! Please? Can we please keep her?"

Roy really wanted to tell the boy no, really he did. His mind said no, but his mouth decided to be evil and said, "Sure, Edward, we can keep the bunny."

However, Roy later discovered he wasn't willing to take back what he said. He had one hell of a thank you from Ed that night, and was willing to get him a thousand bunnies if need be.

* * *

**A/N:** Marshmallow peeps…XD I sort of got that line from Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. 

Mandy: Grim is about as grim as one of those marshmallow bunnies.

XD Loved that line.

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	48. Sleeping Time

**A/N: **I log in onto my account and found that I received over 100 reviews. _(keels over)_ Thankies for the reviews everyone! Just some notes:

I plan to post the 100 drabbles before August comes. I am hoping to start another story in August ("House of Cards"), but I've been editing, rewriting, revising that story like crazy I don't know if I'll even be able to get up the first chapter before the end of the year (yeah, I want to make it that good). But, I can guarantee something else in August_. (wink wink)_

Anywho, this drabble I found on my disk and I had forgotten it was on there. RoyEd (so cute) and thanks to joyfullness one for the topic.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Can you hear me now? Hello? Can you hear me now? DAMNIT! _(throws phone on ground and stomps on it)_

* * *

**Sleeping Time**

Roy snuggled deep into his bed with a sigh. It had been a long, tiring day at work and he was exhausted.

He was forced by gunpoint to complete all of the piles of paperwork on his desk, or else he would suffer pain, agony, or death. Now that he thought of it, he already suffered pain and agony…_damn writer's cramp._

_Ring._

Startled, he fumbled with the light beside his bed to find the phone. He grabbed it and answered wearily.

"Mustang residence."

**_"Hey Mustang!"_  
**  
Roy blinked. The voice didn't belong to Hughes, like he had suspected. It belonged to…

"Fullmetal?"

_**"Yup!"**_

"…why are you calling me, and this late at night?"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone line. **_"I forget."_**

Roy twitched. "Well, if you remember, tell me tomorrow, okay?"

**_"Okay! Goodnight!"  
_**  
_Click._

Roy shook his head and threw the phone back on the hook. He turned the light off and snuggled back into bed. With that problem solved, he could go back to sleep now…

_Ring._

Roy jolted again and grabbed the phone, knowing where it was this time. "Mustang residence."

**_"You need a new signature greeting."  
_**  
Roy narrowed his eyes. "Edward, I thought I told you that if you remembered to wait until tomorrow!"

**_"But it is tomorrow! Look at that damn clock!"  
_**  
Roy did and groaned. It was 12:01 AM.

"Ha, ha, very funny. Okay, what do you want?"

Roy could almost see Edward's smirk**_. "Oh, right. Just a question: Am I bugging you?"_**

Roy's jaw dropped. "YOU CALLED TO ASK ME THAT?"

**_"No, not really." _**

"Get to the point then," Roy rubbed his temples.

**_"Okay, well, Riza called me. She won't be able to make it into work tomorrow. An emergency came up. She was wondering if it would be alright if I filled in for her tomorrow at work."  
_**  
"Why didn't she call me?"

**_"She forgot your number, she said, and plus she sounded like she was in a rush. She asked me to call her back when I asked you, so, well?"  
_**  
"Well what?"

Roy heard an exasperated groan. **_"Is it alright for me to fill her spot at work for the day?"_**

"I guess so…"

**_"Okay, I'll let her know. Oh, and _****_Roy_****_?"  
_**  
"What now?"

**_"I love you."  
_**  
_Click._

The man stared at the speaker of the phone. Did Ed just say what he thought he just said?

Roy placed the phone back on the hook and sat up. He wouldn't be able to sleep now, thanks to Ed's last comment.

"Damn you, Fullmetal."

* * *

**A/N:** Heehee…couldn't resist. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	49. Milk and Cookies

**A/N:** Next drabble! No pairings. _(insert gasps)_ -- ' Thanks joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Got milk? Yeah, totally dude.

* * *

**Milk and Cookies**

Ed rubbed his eyes drowsily. He had been reading in his room that he was in that was located in the Hughes' household. His eyes were starting to go unfocused, and he was exhausted.

A knock came from the door. Ed looked up to see Elysia holding a tray and had a nervous smile on her face. "Is it alright that I can interrupt you for a moment?"

Ed smiled. "Sure, I guess."

The little girl came in and seated herself beside Ed. Ed frowned when he realized it was a tray of milk and cookies, something he hadn't had since…Nina.

_'Nina used to bring me milk and cookies all the time when I was studying for the exam…well, at least she did when she was alive.'_

Images of a bright little girl ran through his mind until he felt a tug at his shirt.

"Will you have some milk and cookies with me? Mommy made an extra special big back for us to share, and I brought a glass of milk for you!" She pointed to the bright yellow cup with a nervous look on her face.

Ed hesitated. Even with Nina, he never drank milk. He had poured it into a flowerpot when the girl wasn't looking, tricking her into thinking that he had drank it. Guilt began to fill his heart at the thought.

"Edward? Will you?" Her eyes looking at him pleadingly.

Edward took his book and laid it on the floor. He smiled at her as he took the glass and a cookie.

"You bet I will."

For once in his life, Edward didn't care if he drank milk. It was all for a little girl.

* * *

**A/N:** I was watching _"Night of the Chimera's Cry" _when this plot came to mind. I miss Nina. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	50. Laundry

**A/N:** This is the half-waypoint folks! Fifty percent of this is completed! (Fear it, fear it like you fear liver and onions. Okay, I don't know if there is anyone who likes that stuff…but yeah…fear whatever you fear…) This one is BarryFarman implied! For Zeppelin!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I'm running out of snappy things to say. Aw well. I'll start putting in movie quotes. _(grins)_

* * *

**Laundry**

Farman glared at the basket of clean clothes. It was Roy's fault for sticking him with this…psycho…At least Riza was kind enough to tell Barry '_You can't chop this person up.'_

"Hey! Can I chop up this table?"

So much for not chopping up stuff.

"No."

"Why?"

"I eat at that table."

"Okay."

Farman shook out the starched shirt and began to hang it up on an indoor clothesline in the living room. He couldn't hang them outside, and he had no dryer in the place, so he was left with the only option of hanging them in the living room with fans blowing them dry.

"Do you want help?"

Farman looked up from the laundry and blinked. "What?"

"Do you want help? You look…tired."

Farman looked from the laundry to Barry. _Well, it couldn't hurt…_

"Uh, you can help if you want…"

"Certainly!" Barry jumped up, ran over, and began throwing the clothes onto the lines. Farman just stood and stared as each flew and landed on a random spot on the line.

"All done!" Barry wiped his hands 'clean' before strutting over to Farman. He picked him up, carried him to the couch, and tossed him onto the cushions before speaking again. "You stay here; I'll get you a drink of water!" With that, he walked to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.

Farman continued to sit and stare from the couch. _Well, that was one way of getting the laundry done…_

* * *

**A/N:** …okay then… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	51. Swiffer Dust Mop

**A/N:** I got this idea from out of the blue…it even scares myself…No couplings in this one.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Lesson Number One: When a new product is released on the market, DON'T LET EDWARD BUY IT. Thank you.

* * *

**Swiffer Dust Mop**

Riza stood in the doorway to the cafeteria with a blank stare. She had been standing there for a full ten minutes now, and Roy was getting worried when she hadn't come back to the office.

He reached her in the doorway, asking what was wrong. All she had to do was point and Roy instantly knew what to do.

_He looked into the cafeteria._

It was a strange sight, yes. They had never seen Edward without his boots on in the office building. What was even stranger was they had never seen Edward with socks on _both_ of his feet.

Nevertheless, they watched Edward skate across the floor with a _Swiffer Dust Mop_ in front of him doing a horrible figure eight that looked more like a…screwed up '_z_'. He did several spins on the floor and swung the mop around him pressing the 'eject button' and was squirting cleaning liquid all around as he did so.

Roy shook his head in amusement. At least the cafeteria was being cleaned.

Ed threw the mop up in the air and grabbed it as it came back down. He began to _'strum'_ it like a guitar and bobbed his head as he did so. He ran across the cafeteria, dropped to his knees, and skidded until he stopped a foot away from Roy and Riza.

_"YEEEEEEEEEEAH!" _

"Fullmetal?"

Edward opened his eyes. "Oh shit."

Riza shook her head. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the psychiatric ward." She walked off leaving a ruffled Edward who was hastily trying to lie his way out of Roy's quirky comments.

* * *

**A/N:** …nothing to say. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	52. Rain

**A/N:** Another drabble. EdEnvy! (_Evil snicker)_ Muhahahahaha…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** You'll always be my best friend, you know too much.

* * *

**Rain**

Edward hated the rain. It always signified something bad was bound to happen. After all, it rained the night of the failed Human Transmutation; it rained the day that Scar attacked both him and his brother and almost killed them both…

"Hello, _Hagaren_."

Ed almost lost his footing on the wet ground when he spun to see Envy staring back at him from underneath a building's canopy.

"What do you want, _homunculus_?"

"Nothing, except to see my favorite _Renkinjutsushi_." He marched over to Edward and wrapped his arms around him without hesitation.

Edward wanted to punch the creep in the face, but he felt oddly…_comfortable_…

"No remarks, _chibi-san_?"

"Shut up."

Envy grinned as he placed his head on top of Ed's and sniffed his hair.

"Stop smelling my hair."

"Why? It smells good."

Edward sighed. He should be pounding this guy into the ground by now, but here he is enjoying the homunculus' company and touch!

Disgusted with himself, he pushed Envy away not as roughly as he had hoped and marched away.

"Oi! _Hagane no chibi-san_! Don't leave me! I get lonely without you!"

Edward gritted his teeth. He stopped in his tracks and turned his head. Envy raced up to him and grinned.

"Well, you actually listened to me for once."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it."

"Where you headed?"

Edward thought for a moment. "I was heading towards the headquarters, but I kinda got sidetracked."

_"Kinda?"  
_  
Edward growled. Envy instantly held back any more cracks about the alchemist and sniffed the air. "You know, rain smells good. Feels good on the face too."

_"__I hate rain."  
_  
The homunculus turned. "And why do you hate rain?"

"Bad things always happen in the rain." Edward replied truthfully.

Envy watched the boy for a moment before speaking up again. "What sort of bad things?"

"Nearly being killed about a half a dozen times. Stuff like that."

"You've never had a good rainy day?"

"Nope."

Envy grabbed the boy by the shoulders and grinned. "Now let's fix that right now." He instantly placed his lips onto the boy's, who squirmed under the touch for a moment before melting into the touch.

Seconds later, Envy pulled away and licked his lips. "Now how's that for a change in rainy day attitudes?"

Ed blinked. "Whoa…"

Envy winked. "Damn right it's a _'whoa'_." With that, he bounded off down the alley leaving Ed touching his lips with his fingertips.

"Damn, he's a good kisser."

* * *

**A/N:** I've always wondered if Ed will kiss anyone in the series…HE SHOULD! _(scowls) _Edo! Find someone and kiss them! 

Ed: Okay! _(grabs the closest reader and kisses them) _  
  
Me: x.x Not the readers! I meant in the series!

Ed: _(too busy still kissing)_

Me: I give up. _(stomps away)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	53. Mowing

**A/N:** I've read a story before where the pairing was FueryEdo, and it was the most adorable thing I've ever read that wasn't EdRoy but had Ed in it. Okay, maybe not the most adorable, but pretty damn close! I loved it. :D So, in other words, this is implied FueryEdo. And let's pretend that Fuery has his own house. :3

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I can fix anything! Where's the duct tape?

* * *

**Mowing  
**Fuery was about ready to cry. He had spent the morning trying to mow the blasted lawn only to have the push mower break and die. 

After much kicking and random untranslatable cursing, he had finally given up and dragged the bloody machine out to the roadside to be picked up by the garbage men.

So here he stood, staring at the horrible mess of a lawn ready to grab a pair of scissors and cut each blade individually to a perfect height.

Only, the cavalry arrived before he did.

"Hey, Kain, what's wrong?"

Fuery looked up and sighed. "My mower broke and I didn't even get to finish mowing the lawn."

Edward scratched his chin. "Oh, you don't say? Hey, was that your mower on the sidewalk?"

"Yup."

Ed grinned. "One moment." He raced back to the mower. Fuery heard a clapping noise and the sounds of a transmutation in effect. He looked over and saw Edward approaching with the lawn mower.

Edward stopped a foot away from Kain and shrugged off his red jacket. He handed it to Fuery. "Here, take this please." Kain took it and watched as Ed started up the mower and began to mow the unfinished part of the lawn.

Kain smiled inwardly. Each time Ed was facing him, the blond would wave and grin at him cheekily. Fuery would wave back with a slight blush on his cheeks. He'd have to thank the alchemist later, perhaps with a dinner and a movie?

* * *

**A/N:** Yay for Edo! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	54. Honey

**A/N:** This is a RoyEdo drabble. :3

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Okay guys, line 'em up and suck 'em down. One, two, three...FLOOR! Oh, so that's what happens after your third shot of tequila.

* * *

**Honey**

Fullmetal Pipsqueak. _Hagane no chibi-san_. Shorty. Shrimp. He's heard them all. He'd even heard some that weren't even in the dictionary. He's also heard names such as bastard, meddling snot, and _'brat-no-bigger-than-a-grain-of-rice'._

Needless to say, Edward was quite rattled when a new nickname popped up unexpectedly.

"Hey, honey."

_'Honey? Isn't that a food? I'm not food.'_

Edward spluttered as he choked on the half-eaten donut. Roy had to pat his back several times to keep him from choking to death.

_"Honey?"_ He squeaked as he sipped down some water.

"Would you rather I called you butter?" Roy smirked as he placed the glass onto the desk.

"It sounds like we're married."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "And that's a bad thing?"

More splutters and chokes.

"But we're not married! We're only going out!"

"Don't you want to get married in the future?"

_Bug eyes_. "Eh?"

Roy placed a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Aren't we going to get married in the future when I become Furher?"

"Uh, well, sure, but…"

Roy winked. "I know what it is, you don't like being called honey. So, then it's settled, I'll start calling you ketchup!"

Edward threw his arms up in the air and waved them madly. "No-no-no-no! Honey is a lovely nickname! I like it!"

_And thus__, 'honey' stuck to Edward like…well, honey. _

* * *

**A/N:** Poor Edo. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	55. Scooters

**A/N:** I've been finding lost drabbles…well, left and right. Lol. HavocEdo implied.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** When all else fails...read the instructions.

* * *

**Scooters  
**Havoc drooled at the sight of his brand new scooter. It was the latest product to be released to the public, and he was one of the lucky birds who got one before Mustang. 

He had called Edward over so he could give him a ride, or, at least help him figure out how to use one of these blasted contraptions.

"Hey Ed," Havoc looked from the key to the scooter and looked all over it, "where do the keys go?"

Ed lounged under a tree that was nearby and yawned. "Read the instruction manual. It tells you everything you need to know."

Havoc held up the thick book and looked back to the scooter. "No thanks." He dropped it onto the ground and began his search once more for the ignition.

Edward rolled his eyes. "There should be a law against selling these things to people like you."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"Nothing." The alchemist blew a strand of hair out of his face.

"Please help me find the spot for the keys!"

Ed sat up and glared. "There's a diagram in the booklet that shows where the damned key goes! LOOK FOR IT IN THE BOOK!"

He leaned back against the tree again. He was truthfully worried about Havoc on the road with one of these things. He'd be afraid about having the man run over some random old lady trying to cross the road, or some innocent child skipping down the sidewalk and get squished flatter than a pancake.

Moreover, he was worried that Havoc would, in fact, give him a heart attack as he drove.

"I can't read this!" Havoc held up the book. "It looks like that weird alchemist stuff you read!"

Edward rolled his eyes. He shouldn't worry too much. It'll be a few years before Havoc finally found out that the booklet he was holding was actually the warranty booklet and not the instruction manual.

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say. :P 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	56. Musical

**A/N:** Evil. Evil, I say, EVIL! Oh, and thanks joyfullness one for the writing topic. No couplings. And let's say because everyone was too tired to go back home, they all stayed in the dorms. Kay? Kay.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** You say evil like it's a bad thing.

* * *

**Musical  
**Roy shot up from the bed with a startled squeak from his throat. A loud, booming noise was coming from the showers down the hallway and it had woken him from his wonderful sleep. 

Climbing out of the bed, he sluggishly dragged himself of the dorm room covering his ears as the noise grew louder. He paused when he saw several other people crowded around the door to the showers.

"What's going on?" Roy asked loudly so he could be heard.

Havoc peeked into the room. "Eh, Armstrong. He's taking a shower."

Riza squinted her eyes as she tried to stop the sound from making her brain explode. "A shower? That loudly?"

Havoc peeked back in and then looked back to the others. "He's got a shower brush. He's using it as a microphone."

Suddenly, a slam sounded from another hallway and the stomping of one flesh foot and one automail foot reached their ears. Edward rounded the corner, half-asleep, but irritation still evident on his face. He brushed past the crowd and marched right into the shower room without saying a word, nor knocking.

Everyone outside the shower room listened intently for screaming from the young alchemist. Instead, the loud 'singing' stopped and a loud _'ker-thump'_ came through the door.

Edward marched out of the shower room with a more…content…expression on his face. He walked back to his dorm and closed the door without a word.

Havoc blinked and peeked back into the room and then looked back out to the others. "The Major is down…and out for the count. Ed knocked him out with the shower brush."

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say. :P 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	57. Chinese Finger Traps

**A/N:** I get major kicks out of the reviews I get for this series. I'd be sitting here reading them, and then two seconds later be on the floor laughing from some of the comments. They are freaking hilarious. :D Thankies everyone for the reviews and everything!

This drabble is RoyAi implied, with Edo's company!. Quite amusing in a way. :3 If you don't know what Chinese Finger Traps are, I suggest doing a google search. I used to have a CFT…got destroyed…(evil cats…)

* * *

**Note:** If you see me using "Edo", "Winrii", or "Aru" in the drabbles, don't think of it as a typo. That's just another way to spell their names in the series.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** It's not that I am a simpleton, it's just…well, I chose to not be smart like other people.

* * *

**Chinese Finger Traps**

Ed watched in amusement as Roy pulled his index fingers apart trying to free them from the colorful puzzle. He resisted the urge to tease him (with much difficulty), but he ended up throwing in a few one-liners to raise Roy's irritation.

Roy had become bored with the paper work and Ed suggested playing with a Chinese Finger Trap for a moment or two just to pass some time. Of course, Roy thought it was a trap, but Ed quickly demonstrated by using his own fingers that there were no strings attached.

Of course, Ed had done the demo so fast; Roy missed the part on getting the fingers unstuck.

So here he sat, pulling and yanking the damned toy with all his might hoping to tear it apart so then he could tear Ed apart. Unfortunately, the puzzle just got tighter and tighter on his fingers until he swore he lost circulation.

"Okay, Edward, this has lasted long enough. Get this thing off my fingers."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why?"

Roy growled. "Edward!"

Ed sat back on the couch and grinned. "I demonstrated how to use the thing, didn't I? I pulled no pranks, used no alchemy, nothing. It's the same as when I was toying with the puzzle."

Roy tugged a bit more at the puzzle. "Get it off, please. I have work to do."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Oh _now_ you have work to do."

Roy whimpered slightly, but nearly jumped out of his skin when Riza entered the room. "Oh, uh…Lieutenant…I was uh…"

"Let me see your hands."

He reluctantly held out his hands. She grabbed them both, pushed them together, and popped off the finger trap with ease. She took the toy and waved it at the man. "No more games, sir, and no dinner date tonight."

He gulped. "Yes ma'am."

With that, Riza left after she gave the puzzle back to Ed.

Ed stared in disbelief before falling to the floor laughing. "Man, she has you wrapped around her finger better than that puzzle was around yours!"

"Shut up, Edward."

* * *

**A/N:** No comment. _(shifty eyes)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	58. Flowers

**A/N:** Another RizaBarry drabble! I just found that coupling so kawaii.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** …uh…suing is bad? So don't do it?

* * *

**Flowers  
**Riza wouldn't admit to anyone that she liked flowers. She wouldn't even tell Roy, whom knew a lot about her private life. In fact, the ever genius Edward couldn't even see that she loved flowers. 

Barry did though.

When he had gone to her house that night, he had seen that she had several vases around the house full of flowers. What better gift for a pretty lady than some pretty flowers, eh?

So, off into the woods he went that early morning with his butchering knife that he reclaimed without the authorities knowledge. He found a lilac tree with light purple flowers in full bloom. He would've grinned if he had a body. _These were perfect…_

-----

"Um, oh my…" Riza blushed as Barry held out several small branches of lilacs. She took them and sniffed them as she eyed the 'man'. "I—uh, well, thanks. I don't really know what else to say."

Barry tried to wiggle his eyebrows but remembered he had none. "I knew you loved flowers, missy, and just had to get you some. I hope you like them."

Riza walked into her kitchen with Barry following her, filled up a vase with water, and stuck the stems of the flowers in them. "I do. I can't believe that you would be able to guess that I loved flowers. No one else knew."

Barry's empty eyes shifted anime-like into a content 'n'. "Well, they don't deserve your company if they are that much of simpletons."

Riza concealed a chuckle.

* * *

**A/N:** The content 'n' is meant like this: n.n Lol. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	59. Speed Bake

**A/N:** HavocRoy! _(starts to drool)_

RoyEd fans: TRAITOR!

Me: EEP! _(hides)_  
  
RoyEd fans: _(bring out pitchforks and torches)_

Me: Why does this remind me of the weatherman episode of Fairly Odd Parents? O.o

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Me no own.

* * *

**Speed Bake**

Havoc had no idea how he got he or for what reason, but he liked it at Roy's. He got to see the man's house and plus…well, he got to see Roy!

Havoc guessed it was when Roy mentioned something about needing help with the baking for an upcoming party at Hughes'. He had mentioned he was going to drag Edo-kun over to torture the kid, but Havoc stepped in and obliged to aid in the baking. Roy shrugged and said it was up to him.

The evening started quiet and boring. The two got started getting the ingredients together making the batter for the cookies. It then turned to a night of amusement when Havoc accidentally rubbed his hands on the back of his pants and left flour prints on them. Roy couldn't help but chuckle and point it out to Havoc, whom blushed at what he did.

When the two men started putting scoops of dough out onto a pan, it got even better when Roy began offering Havoc tastes of the dough right off the spoon. Havoc hesitated, only Roy managed to make the man not so shy about having some when he pinched his ass causing Havoc to yelp. Of course, when he yelped, Roy shoved the spoon into his mouth.

After stalling a few minutes eating dough, the two men finally managed to place the pan into the oven to bake.

Of course, one couldn't just sit and stare at the dough and wait for it to bake, right?

Havoc and Roy busied themselves with the next pan, only, being a little sidetracked with eating the dough. Roy spoon-fed it Havoc, and Havoc spoon-fed it Roy.

After finally running out of dough did they realize that they only baked twenty cookies. They had eaten the rest of the batter that was supposedly supposed to make almost a hundred cookies.

_Whoops._

* * *

**A/N:** Whoopsies! Cookie dough is good though! n.n 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	60. Silky

**A/N:** This idea has been driving me insane. I thought of it while chatting with my sister while folding laundry and it smacked me in the face (literally). I hope this goes as planned. n.n

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Which do you prefer, boxers or briefs?

* * *

**Silky**

It has been officially six months since Edward and Roy started going out. It has officially been three months since everyone in the office found out (but kept is as their little secret for the two men, who threatened certain death if it were revealed). It has officially been one week since they went out to dinner. It has officially been five minutes since Ed was last kissed on the cheek.

"Roy, it's almost eleven at night. Aren't you going to head home yet?" Ed hung lazily on the couch watching the man impatiently as he finished some last minute paper work.

"Not yet. I have some stuff to finish up. However…" Ed instantly shot up, "I have something for you." Roy pulled the side drawer of his desk open and pulled out a small box large enough to fit a shoe in. "I wouldn't suggest opening it now, maybe when you get to my house…"

"Did you get me something sick and perverted?" Ed eyed the box.

"No, not really."

Ed grinned. "Then why would I want to wait?" With that, he tore the paper off and lifted the lid only to instantly cover it again. "You didn't…"

Roy leaned forward on his desk and grinned. "I did. Will you wear them for me tonight?"

Edward blushed as he tucked the box into his jacket. "Uh, well, um…I—we'll see." With that, he rushed out of the office without another word.

Havoc and Riza entered looking highly amused. "What did you do to that poor boy?" Riza asked.

Roy leaned back in his chair and smirked. "I didn't do anything to him. I just bought him something I've been eyeing for a while."

"A skirt?"

Roy shook his head. "No, but that'll be the next thing I get him."

Havoc snickered as Riza sighed. "What did you get him, may I ask sir?"

Roy turned in his chair and watched Edward hop into a taxi below. "I got him a pair of silky, red briefs." He raised his eyebrows in a dreamy state. "I wonder if he will wear them."

Havoc gagged and Riza ran out before Roy said anything else.

* * *

**A/N:** Blame the laundry! They gave me the idea! _(points to random sock)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	61. Spaghetti

**A/N:** More drabbles. Expect many updates. RizaArmstrong.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Look before you leap. :P

* * *

**Spaghetti**

Riza hadn't really paid much attention to the Major since the first time she had met him. Sure, he was a nice guy and all, but he just didn't really seem like the type to be a ladies man and attempt to swoon her.

However, that night that he had asked her over to his house for dinner was one that left her pondering. Maybe there was more to the Major than the hidden smile and the sparkles.

So here, she sat in his kitchen watching as he finished the last minute details on dinner. A single yet bright candle sat in the middle of the table and released a sweet cinnamon scent into the atmosphere.

He turned around with two plates of spaghetti and placed one in front of her. The cinnamon was instantly replaced with the scent of the sauce and zest of oregano and other spices. She looked down and smiled.

"Dinner looks delicious."

His face revealed a smile. "I hope it tastes delicious." He held up a glass of wine and nodded. "A toast."

She held up hers and smiled as well. "A toast." With that, they gently tapped their glasses and took a small sip.

Riza placed the glass onto the table and began to eat. She savored the flavor. It had been too long since the last time she had spaghetti and enjoyed the meal tremendously. "It is delicious, Alex."

"I'm glad you like it." With that, he placed his silverware onto the plate. "Miss Riza, when will you be free again? I would like to take you out to some place lovely for a day."

Riza pondered. "I'm not sure," She smiled. "I'll find a way to get a day off. And you?"

"I take my days as I please. Usually for emergencies or for aiding the Elrics."

Riza nodded. This man was kind, and willing. He also worked in the military, he wouldn't mind if she'd have to leave in a heartbeat because he knew the hardships.

_And plus__, he wasn't a womanizer.  
_  
She took another bite of spaghetti.

_And__ he knew how to cook a damn good meal of spaghetti. _

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	62. Sparklers

**A/N:** I read some pretty damn good stories earlier. I'm in the mood for angst, but I will hold in that need. Gah, not working. Elricest implied. Hopefully. This is when Al has his body back. Yay!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I didn't throw the man, honest officer! He flew on his own!

* * *

**Sparklers**

"Nii-san, what are you doing?" Al watched Ed curiously.

Ed took the thin box that looked like a box of long matches and grinned up at the boy from his kneeling position. "I got these from Aquroya, they are sparklers."

"Sparklers?"

Ed took one out and grinned. He drew a thing of matches out of his back pocket, struck one, and lit the sparkler stick. It instantly came to life with fizzes and sparks that were alight with random colors.

Al's eyes lit up happily. Ed handed the sparkler to him. "Woah, so pretty. Why did you get them?"

Ed took another sparkler and lit it off of Al's and watched as his sparked and fizzed with life. "As a celebration."

Al's eyes traveled from the sparkler to Ed. "A celebration?"

Ed turned and faced Al and smiled. He leaned in so he was inches away from Aru. "For getting you back." He placed his lips onto Aru's who instantly gasped, but allowed the kiss to deepen passionately.

The sparklers moments lasted for seconds longer before finally going out, and the two dropped theirs onto the ground as they wrapped their arms around each other to feel the body heat of each other that they had missed for so long.

* * *

**A/N:** Turned out a bit better than I had expected. And to think, I vowed to never write/read Elricest. _(reads it anyway)_ And if you don't know what sparklers are, ask and I'll give you a somewhat detailed explanation and a few pictures in an email reply. Just leave an email address or email me. Thanks! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	63. Sprinkles

**A/N:** I'd like to thank **joyfullness one** for the writing topic. AlWinry. Once again, Aru has his body back. Ed is off destroying the world with his trusty sidekick (and lover) Roy. Huzzah!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** You don't know how hard it is to write drabbles while watching Futurama. _(laughs to death)._ Such a funny show.

* * *

**Sprinkles**

Aru watched as Winry finished scooping ice cream out of the jug and set it onto the cone. She turned to Al before abruptly turning again and concealed a grin. "One moment…"

Al waited patiently. He was back into his body and would be having his first dessert since the accident. It was chocolate ice cream on a cone.

"Here you go." She grinned as she handed him the cone. Sprinkled on the top most scoop (there were three scoops of ice cream cone) was a bunch of rainbow sprinkles. Aru grinned.

"Thanks, Winry!" He took a small lick from the top of the snack, savored the sweet flavor of chocolate, and caught a few sprinkles on his tongue. "Have some with me, please!"

Winry shook her head. "I've had plenty of ice cream over the years; it's your turn to enjoy it." She smiled at him.

Aru nodded and took another lick. This time, from a lower scoop and caught some of the sprinkles on his nose. Winry saw the small treats on his nose and giggled.

"What's so funny?"

Winry took a camera from the counter and took a quick picture. "Sorry, had to get that so I could show Edward when he comes back from Central."

Aru frowned. "But what's so funny?"

Winry pointed to his nose. "You got sprinkles on your nose."

Aru wiped his nose off with a napkin and grinned. "Heh, I didn't even know it. I'm not used to my body senses, I got to relearn them."

Winry leaned forward on her elbows. "Take your time learning. Everyone will help you along the way."

Aru nodded and took another lick from the snack.

* * *

**A/N:** Heh. Nothing to say. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	64. Auf Wiedersehen

**A/N:** Another drabble. :P Auf wiedersehen means 'good bye' in German.

* * *

**Disclaimer:**_ Goodbye may seem forever, farewell is like the end, but in my heart, it's a memory…_

* * *

**Auf Wiedersehen**

He could never find the right way to say that phrase. Many times he had said it before, but now it seemed like there was no way he could say it. His mind wouldn't let him. His body wouldn't let him. Yet, he knew he had to.

He had seen so many others say goodbye to loved ones, like the Elrics. They had to say goodbye to their mother. Then there's that Winry girl who had to say goodbye to her parents. Then back to the Elrics again.

Roy shook his head sadly. There was no way he could do it. He just couldn't. The words were right there but so hard to speak. They were choking him, like his friend's death.

A hand rested on his shoulder and he jumped, slightly startled. It was Edward. He didn't speak, but only watched with golden eyes that were full of…understanding?

After several long minutes, the blond did finally speak. "I know that there is no real good way of saying goodbye," he paused, "but remember one thing…goodbye is never the end. It's actually just the beginning."

Roy absorbed the words. He took in a deep breath and gave a salute to Hughes' grave. He bit the inside of his cheek before finally speaking.

_"Auf wiedersehen, mein freund."_

* * *

**A/N:** So sad. Angst finally got the better of me. Last line translated: Good bye, my friend. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	65. Gingerbread Men

**A/N:** Kinda a Christmas sort of theme. Heehee. Kinda RoyEd if you squint. Thanks to joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** _Kids: The gift that keeps on taking._

* * *

**Gingerbread Men**

"I wanna bake some gingerbread men!" Elysia gave a pout. "Mommy! Uncle Roy won't let me make gingerbread men!"

Gracia walked into the kitchen and shook her head. "Elysia, Uncle Roy is probably tired."

Edward was leaning against a counter and scoffed. "Yeah, right. That _Taisa_? Be busy? That'll be the day."

Elysia looked back to her mother. "I wanna make gingerbread men for the Christmas party!"

Roy sighed. He rubbed his temples trying to avoid getting a headache.

Gracia shook her head. "I'm sorry, Roy. I tried. You're on your own." She winked at Edward and went back to the living room.

Elysia began to clap her hands together. "I wanna bake! I wanna bake! I wanna bake!"

Edward joined in by slapping his knees with his hands. He also chorused in with the young girl with the 'I wanna bake' line.

Elysia noticed and changed the 'I' to a 'we', and Edward quickly caught on and both began to sing it louder.

"We wanna bake! We wanna bake! We wanna bake!"

"Hush!" Roy scowled. Both quieted before Elysia squealed.

"I wanna bake gingerbread men cookies though!"

"Yeah, _**Uncle Roy**_," Edward grinned. "I wanna bake gingerbread cookiestoo!"

Roy mouthed 'I am going to so kill you tonight' to the boy who just replied by sticking his tongue out with a smirk. "Fine, we'll bake some gingerbread cookies."

Both Edward and Elysia jumped up in the air with a gleeful laugh and gave each other a high-five.

* * *

**A/N:** Couldn't resist bugging Roy. :D 

Roy --' I kill you!

Me: _(shifty eyes)_ Uh…gotta go! _(skitters out before being torched)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	66. Puppies

**A/N:** RoyEd. :D Kinda a follow up on "Bunny". Lol.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** _Fear the cuteness. _

* * *

**Puppies  
**"Aw, come on Roy! Why did I have to come with you?" Edward pouted as they walked into the pet store. Roy turned and pinched his lovers face so his lips looked like that of a fish. 

"Because, you got your little pet bunny. I need a pet for myself—"

"What about me!"

"—excluding you. Like you said." Ed pouted. It was only fair though, Roy did let Ed have the bunny as a pet. Now it was Roy's turn to have a pet, aside from Edward of course.

"Oh, look Edward."

Ed looked into one of the changes and raised an eyebrow. There sitting in one of the cages was a St. Bernard puppy that was staring intently at the two men.

"He's cute," Roy commented.

Edward shuddered. "Those things _slobber. **Badly**."_

"We'll get him!"

Edward went bug eyed. "W-what?"

Roy grinned. "He'll grow up big and strong, and maybe even give you rides. After all, you're so small that a full grown St. Bernard could be considered a horse!"

"ROY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A PUPPY COULD BE CONSIDERED A HORSE AND I WOULD BE THE FLEA?"

Roy sweatdropped. Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to say that.

"You are so sleeping on the couch." Edward jabbed a finger at the man's chest.

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say. :P 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	67. Beach

**A/N:** RoyAi implied drabble! Yay! Thanks to joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Gonna soak up the sun! _(gets burnt to a crisp) _Okay, **that** wasn't supposed to happen…

* * *

**Beach  
**"Sir, why are we at the beach when we clearly should be getting paperwork done?" 

Roy laid on the beach towel and a smirk crept onto his face. "Who says that you can't have a little fun in the sun during the boring week? Take a chill, Riza, and relax."

Riza sighed. "I can't relax, sir, when there is so much back at the office to get done."

Roy smirked again. "Don't worry, got it all covered.

-----

Havoc, Fuery and Edward stared at the heaps of papers. Havoc scratched at his head.

"What did Mustang say to do?"

Edward looked at the note again. "It says 'took the day off with Riza, please destroy all paperwork. Will get raises."

Havoc rubbed his hands together. "I'm all for the raise, but uh…don't you think that maybe Riza won't be too happy?"

Ed shrugged. "It'll be the Taisa's fault…cause I'm going to keep this note to show her." He took a flame thrower from out of nowhere and had a psychotic grin on his face. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

Havoc blinked. "Where the hell did you get that?"

"EBay."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

-----

Riza looked like she was about to faint. "You left a note for Havoc, Fuery and Edward telling them to finish the paperwork! It'll never get done right!"

Roy turned so his back could start being tanned. "Eh, who said anything about it being done?"

"Sir," Riza seethed, "I am going to give you double the paperwork when we get back." She laid on her beach towel and placed a pair of sunglasses on her face. "First things first though, I want a tan."

* * *

**A/N:** Couldn't resist that scene with Ed and the flame thrower. XD 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	68. Plushies

**A/N:** Aw, don't you just love Father-daughter relationships? They are so cute. :) Thanks joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** How many times must I tell you? I do not own!

* * *

**Plushies**

Maes Hughes poked his head into his daughter's room with the biggest grin on his face. "Oh Elysia, darling! Look at what daughter brought you!"

Elysia looked up from her coloring book and grinned. "Daddy!" She jumped up and ran over to him and wrapped her tiny arms around his waist the best she could. "Daddy, I missed you!"

Maes placed a kiss on her forehead and scooped her up in his arms. "Daddy brought you a present, Elysia!"

The girl giggled. "What did you bring me, daddy?"

He held out large paper bag and placed her and the bag on the bed. He watched as the girl practically disappear into the bag digging through the goodies.

She popped out with an armful of little plushy toys and had the same look that she normally had on Christmas. "Thank you daddy! Thank you!" She took one of the plushies that was a small teddy bear with beady little eyes and waved it. "I'll name this one after you, daddy! Because it reminds me of you!" She giggled.

Maes simply wrapped his arms around his daughter and kissed her on the forehead again.

* * *

**A/N:** So sweet. Makes me think about the episode where he died and I burst into tears all over again. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	69. Shrimp

**A/N:** Call it RoyEd if you want…mostly Ed versus Roy implied here.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Death shall be your friend if you call me CHIBI-SAN ONE MORE TIME!

* * *

**Shrimp  
**"Bastard-_taisa_," Edward glared at the man menacingly. 

"Yes?"

"What is this?" Edward held out a plate so the man could see it.

Roy looked. "A plate."

"What is on the plate?"

Roy looked again. He chuckled. "Shrimp. And a piece of paper."

"What does that little piece of paper with the shrimp say?"

Roy looked closely. He grinned. "Here's some shrimp to a shrimp."

"And who's signature is that?"

Roy glanced up at the boy. "Mine."

Roy should've seen it coming. The moment that Ed drew his hand back should've been the first warning sign. Of course, instead of ducking, he let the damn plate fly right into his face.

Now that he thought about it, he never knew shrimp smelled so weird…especially when he had one practically shoved halfway up his nose from the force of the plate slamming into his face.

* * *

**A/N:** Evil Edward. But it's Roy's fault! _(points to __Roy)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	70. Muffin

**A/N:** Back again with more drabbles! _(ducks punches from Edward and runs) _Ed's trying to kill me because I came up with something really evil earlier! I'll post it as a drabble later on! Thanks to joyfullness one for the topic! This is sort of a continuation of "Honey". lol

Ed: GET BACK HERE SO I CAN HURT YOU!

Me: EEP!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Oddly enough, the warm and fuzzy feeling I have inside is fading fast.

* * *

****

Muffin

Edward gritted his teeth as Havoc pinched his cheeks as Roy had demonstrated seconds ago. "Oooh, who's the little honey bun?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A BEE WOULD MISTAKEN IT FOR A CRUMB?"

"…what the hell?"

A vein twitched on Ed's temple as Roy pulled him onto his lap. "Chill, honey, he didn't call you that."

"Why did you have to tell him the nickname you gave me?" Ed exasperatedly sighed. Why did Havoc know about the two of them anyway?

"Because everyone else is going to know about us eventually, Edo-kun, and plus…" Roy played with the antennae of hair on Ed's head, "He'll be the best man."

"WHAT?"

Havoc grinned. He pinched the boy's cheek. "And guess what, Edo? I'll be visiting you two everyday just to bug the hell out of you!"

_"The hell you will!"  
_  
Roy laughed.

Ed swatted Havoc's hand away and seethed. "Stop pinching my cheeks, Havoc."

"Oh sorry, don't wanna bruise the little muffin."

Roy blinked. "Did you call him muffin?"

Havoc tilted his head. "Yeah, why?"

Roy grinned. "I like that name…"

"Don't even think about it," Ed dug his hand into Roy's leg who gasped painfully.

* * *

**A/N:** Do you know the muffin man? 

Roy: Yes, I know the muffin man! _(points to Ed) _He's the muffin man!

Ed: ROY! _(digs into Roy's leg with his flesh hand) _

Roy: AAAAAAH! THAT HURTS!

Me: n.n'

-Mint Pizza Queen


	71. Hiccups

**A/N:** This idea popped into mind after remembering something that happened to me a few years ago. Let me tell you, it was embarrassing.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **It's not just about junk food. Stress also causes high blood pressure, and what you're doing…it's stressing me out right now.

* * *

****

Hiccups

Roy was walking down the hallway past the library when he had heard the squeaky noise. He thought that maybe it was something in his shoes, but had checked and there was nothing wrong with them. He walked past the room again and heard the same noise again.

It sounded like a high-pitched 'eep'.

Roy entered the library and looked around. Several of the librarians were trying to stop their giggling by chatting about the weather. They looked up and saw Roy enter and put on the most serious of faces, only to hear the squeak again and burst into a fit of giggles.

Roy raised an eyebrow and looked around for the source of the sound.

He looked to the left. There were a few state alchemist's chatting over stacks of books and newspapers. He heard the squeak again but it didn't come from that direction. It actually came from his right, more towards a corner.

He took that path and heard the squeak again. It had grown louder. _So, he was heading in the right direction._

He walked around a bookshelf and nearly jumped into it when the squeak sounded again and the source was directly in front of him.

Edward sat at a table looking very flustered and red in the face. His brother sat across from him trying to hold back giggles, however they kept escaping through his armor.

A squeak left Edward's mouth and he did a little bounce. Roy smirked and left a laugh escape his lips.

"What's wrong with you, Fullmetal? Get a squeaky toy stuck in your throat?"

"For your information bastard--_eep--_damnit!" Edward grabbed a good chunk of his hair and pulled at it, nearly making a bald spot on his scalp, "I have the stinking hiccups!"

"Hiccups? Sounds more like a squeaky toy backfiring."

"Shut it, bastard-_taisa._"

* * *

**A/N:** Story line for myself: I was taking a test (final exam actually) and got the hiccups. Very embarrassing. u.u' 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	72. Misunderstanding

**A/N:** Okay, folks. A couple drabbles back in an author's note, I said I had come up with something pretty evil with Edward doing something totally weird…and kinda scared myself. I thought of it while I was driving to my grandmother's house. n.n' RoyEd and I pity the random lady…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** And you say crazy like it's a bad thing…

* * *

****

Misunderstanding

Roy and Ed have been an official couple for a few weeks now. To celebrate, they went to Roy's favorite bar to get drunk. Edward was reluctant at first, of course, but said 'to hell with it' and went anyway. Hey, if he could handle Roy, he could handle a hangover, right?

Of course, he didn't expect to be drooled on by a bunch of lap-dancing women though.

After turning down the twentieth woman who asked for him to step into the back room so they could get better 'acquainted', Edward was about ready to start foaming at the mouth and become a rabid alchemist.

Roy was on his second drink and kept calming the boy down, telling him it was only natural for the women there to do that.

Edward slurped on his drink noisily. He felt another tap on his shoulder and glared at Mustang. "Another one?" He asked in a whisper. Roy nodded.

"Hey, handsome, would you like to go to the back room with me for a few hours?"

Edward released a small sigh. He had had enough of these women…time to take action.

He twirled around in his chair and perked right up and spoke in a higher pitched voice, as if attempting to sound like a woman. "_Excuse me? Who are you calling handsome_?"

The woman stepped back slightly shocked by the outburst. Edward continued his rant.

_"Do I look like a stinking man?"_

"Uh, well--"

_"I am not a man!" _Edward raved.

The woman blinked. "Er…"

_"I know what it is! You can't see my boobs can you?" _Edward brought his hands to his chest and made a motion as if to point out that he had a set. _"I can't believe it! I knew they were small, but not that small!"_ He glared at her._ "You insult me, **biotch**, now go away!"_

The woman ran off before Edward could rant anymore.

Edward turned in his chair and stared at Roy who was staring back. "What the hell did I just do?"

"I think you just pretended to be a woman by pointing out you had small boobs." Roy burst into a fit of laughs and began smacking his head on the counter.

"This does not leave the bar, got it?" Ed turned his head slightly to see the same woman running out the exit face as red as her lipstick.

* * *

**A/N:** I are the evilness. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	73. Magic

**A/N:** This was just too cute to pass up. An Elysia and Edo interaction moment. :D Thanks joyfullness one for the writing topic! No couplings!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Oooh, it's magic!

* * *

**Magic  
**Edward was dragged into the living room by the over easily excited Maes Hughes and nearly tripped over his own feet. Hughes turned and grinned psychotically. "Edo! I brought you over to show you my daughter in person! She's so beautiful, and I just couldn't keep on showing you photos! I just had to bring you here! Oh, Elysia!" 

Elysia popped out of her room and grinned. "Daddy!" She charged at him and he instantly swept her off her feet.

"Daddy brought over big brother Edward! Say hi, Elysia!"

Elysia looked up and giggled at Edward. "Hi big brother Edward!"

Ed waved back wearily. "Eh, hi?"

Hughes patted Edward on the back after setting his daughter onto the couch. "Edo, why don't you show Elysia some of your alchemy tricks?"

Elysia tilted her head. "Tricks? You mean like magic?"

Ed sweat dropped. "Well, not exactly--"

"Just like magic!" Hughes grinned again and handed Edward a bunch of random items. "Here, try your magic with these Edo!" He seated himself beside his daughter and waited anxiously.

Edward stared at the objects. There was the traditional magic hat, the wand, a black cape, and a bunch of little knickknacks. "Uh, why don't the audience tell me what trick I shall perform?" He asked nervously.

Elysia grinned. "Pull a rabbit out of your hat!"

Ed sweat dropped. "Uh…okay…I will. See? Nothing in the hat." He showed it to her. "I shall put this empty lid into the hat, okay?" Elysia nodded. Edward placed the lid into the hat and sighed. He took the wand and clapped his hands just as he said _'abracadabra' _and touched the lid. It glowed for a second. He reached inside and pulled out a stuffed rabbit. Elysia giggled.

"Yay! Magic!"

Ed grinned. "Yeah, I guess so."

* * *

**A/N:** Too bad it wasn't like magic, eh? Make Al back to normal…probably what Ed is thinking at that moment. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	74. Lollipops

**A/N:** Oh dear…another drabble. RoyHavoc for those fans out there. Thanks to joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

* * *

****

Lollipops

Havoc puffed on his lit cigarette and sighed. He knew he shouldn't smoke, but it calmed his nerves. Helped his get through this hell called life and eased those tensions that built up in the pit of his mind.

Roy had been nagging him to quit, and Havoc insisted that he would start tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow came and then he said he would quit on Saturday. Saturday came and Havoc promised he would the following week. That week flew by and he insisted he would on the first day of the next month. That day passed and he promised he would before New Year's. New Year's came and gone and he had yet to quit.

Roy was now putting his foot down.

Havoc felt someone grab the cigarette from his mouth. He watched as Roy threw it to the ground and stomped on it angrily. "Havoc, I thought you said that you were going to quit."

"I was, in a few--"

"No, Havoc," Roy scowled, "You are not going to push it off any longer. You quit and you quit now."

"COLD TURKEY?"

Roy closed his eyes and nodded. "Cold turkey."

Havoc just about died. "But…the cravings! The needs! What will I have to calm my nerves?"

Roy reached into his pocket. "Try one of these." He pulled out a lollipop, tore off the wrapping and shoved it into Havoc's mouth. Havoc blinked in surprise.

Roy smirked as Havoc took the candy out of his mouth and smiled. He then frowned and held out his hand. "Hand them over."

"Hand what over?"

"The damn cigarettes."

Havoc scowled and took out a pack of cigarettes and shoved them into the man's hand. He was about to walk away when Roy made a grunt in his throat. Havoc groaned and reached into his other pocket and pulled out another pack and handed them to Roy.

_No worries though, he had some at home and in his desk._

"I hope you realize that I had Riza and Ed raid your desk and house for anymore packs of this stuff."

Havoc nearly swallowed the lollipop.

* * *

**A/N:** lol. A little implied RizaEd snuck in there. _(skitters off)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	75. Rainbows

**A/N:** Three-fourths of the way completed! Yay! RoyEd! Thanks joyfullness one for the topic! n.n

* * *

**Disclaimer:** They're after me Lucky Charms!

* * *

****

Rainbows

Roy hated the rain, there was no doubt about it. He was labeled in big, flashing letters 'useless' when he was caught in it. His gloves would get wet and he couldn't create a spark with soggy mittens.

Another reason why he hated the rain was the mud. The goop caked onto his shoes and onto the bottoms of his pants, getting all over the floors in the office and in his house.

There was another reason why he hated the rain that he would never reveal to anyone. He hated rain because bad things always happened to Edward when it poured. He hated it when bad things happened to the blond.

Thus, the two men shared a common understanding. Rain was evil. Rain was the enemy.

Yet, the two men agreed on another thing: Rain brought something beautiful. Just the right amount of light, the right amount of moisture in the air, and just the right moment. That's all it took.

So here the two men stood outside staring at the sky, waiting for that perfect moment. Edward's golden eyes scanned the skies, then widened and he motioned with his hands for Roy to look. Roy looked up and smiled.

Faintly appearing was a rainbow. Flawless colors coming into perfect formation and becoming clearer, it danced through the tiny drops of water and the light.

It was a mutual agreement, of course, that rainbows were indeed beautiful.

* * *

**A/N:** Me like rainbows. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	76. Crayons

**A/N:** Another drabble! Fear it. _(shifty eyes) _Thanks joyfullness one! No real couplings.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I'm just as useful as any of the others.

* * *

****

Crayons

Ed grabbed a box of crayons and a pad of blank paper and handed it to Elysia and sighed. "Here, just…stay out of my hair for a little bit, okay?"

Elysia grinned. "Okay brother!" She seated herself on the floor and began to color with the crayons.

Edward sat at the desk and began to take notes from the alchemy book. He paused for a moment, and looked over his shoulder to see what she was drawing.

She was drawing several figures on the paper. One he knew was obviously was her mom and her deceased father, who had a halo over his head in the picture. He also saw a figure that resembled her, and several others. Ed guessed that one was for him, one was for Al, and there was another on there.

"Who's that?" Ed asked curiously. He pointed to the mystery figure.

She grinned. "That's Uncle Roy! He comes over a lot."

Ed's grin grew. "Oh really…I think we should see Uncle Roy some time, don't you?"

_'Uncle Roy? I'll never let him live that one down.'_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Nothing to say.

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	77. Puppets

**A/N:** Well, this is a huge surprise. I never thought that I would get over 11,000 hits and over 150 reviews, but I did. Glee!

This drabble here is sort of RoyEd…plus a little too perky!Hughes to brighten up the day! Or maybe not. Thanks joyfullness one for the topic!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I am currently out of my mind. Please leave a message and I'll reply as soon as I get back. Thanks! Oh, and I don't own Ren and Stimpy.

* * *

****

Puppets

Ed and Roy were sitting side by side sulking in the cafeteria. Hughes had managed to track both of them down and had tortured them for two full hours with albums of photos. They had managed to get away with Riza's aid, which had involved a certain pistol aimed at a certain person's head…

Ed took in a deep breath and released it slowly. "Thank god he's gone."

No sooner than he said that the strangest thing happened.

A sock puppet popped up from the other side of the table and had a marker drawn face on it. Ed and Roy stared at it without blinking and watched as it moved side to side 'watching' them. Another sock puppet popped up next to the first puppet and then it began…

_"Hello puppet number 1!"_

_**"Hello puppet number 2! How are you?"  
**  
"I am good puppet number 1! My, look at those grumpy looking faces! They need cheering up!" _

_**"Agreed puppet number 2! Let's turn those frowns upside down!"  
**  
_The two puppets began to bounce back and forth as the owner of the voices began to sing.

_"Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy--_**AAAH!**"

Edward had a hold of both sock puppets and was tying them around the throat of Maes Hughes, whom had already started turning a funny shade of blue.

By now, everyone was staring and Roy was trying to hide himself from the scene. Edward was violently shaking Maes now glaring and seething.

"DON'T EVER, **EVER**, **EVER** SING THAT SONG AGAIN!"

Hughes gurgled. "I'm---sorry!"

Havoc, whom was standing nearby and had seen the whole thing waltzed over to Edward and whispered into his ear.

_"Happy, happy, joy, joy."_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** See where this is going? I think so.

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	78. Mud

**A/N:** Eh, I keep on watching FMA movie previews and stuff and it gets me into a pissy mood. I just don't like how the series ended or how the movie goes, that's all. Oh, RizaEd implied.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **If I could, I'd have it so Ed would still be in Armestris and Al would have his body back and Ed would no longer have automail and him and Roy would be a couple! Rawr_! (scowls) _Hiromu Arakawa, there had better be a sequel to the movie or I'm gonna track you down! _(points threateningly)_

Ed: Oh look, she's going psycho again. _(sips tea)  
_  
Roy: u.u That's been happening a lot lately, hasn't it? _(sips tea also)_

Ed: Yup.

Me: DAMNIT! WHY DID I HAVE TO GOOGLE SEARCH? WHY?

Roy: Do you think that we should tell her it's just a show?

Ed: I'm appalled with you Roy! _(bitch slaps and walks away)_

Roy: 0.o What did I do?

* * *

**Mud  
**_'Plip. Plop. Plip. Plop.'_

Riza looked up from her desk to see if she could identify the source of the sounds that disrupted her from her work. No one was in the hallway that she could see down, and no one was in the office. She rose from her desk and walked down the hallway to try to find the source.

The noise got louder as she continued her search. She stopped just shy of the main office to only feel the rush of wind from the door getting kicked open. She backed up just in time to avoid getting hit in the face by the object.

A soaked and filthy looking Edward Elric stood in the doorway looking mightily embarrassed. He quickly apologized to her and rubbed the back of his head, only to rub the mud on his once clean gloves onto his drenched blonde hair. He looked at his hand and sighed.

Riza blinked. "What happened to you?"

"Roy decided it would be a lovely idea to shove me into a mud puddle." Edward peeled off his gloves disgustedly and stared at them with anger. "These were my best pair too. Bastard."

Riza looked up to see Roy enter the office. An idea popped into Riza's mind that would more or less piss off the Taisa yet get Ed into a better mood.

"Hey, Edward. Why don't I bring you to my house where you can clean up? While you're in the shower, I could have your clothes cleaned and dried for you." She smiled at him. "I'm sure your brother won't mind if you spend the night, I have a spare room you can stay in. I'll let your brother know you'll be there."

Edward blinked in surprise. Roy's jaw dropped so hard that it broke off his face and fell to the floor.

"Uh, okay, but I don't want to be a burden to you Miss Riza," He replied sheepishly.  
_  
_She smiled at him and she could see Roy fuming at how Ed was getting all her attention. "You'll be no burden, Edward. In fact, I insist that you come over." With that, she placed a kiss onto his muddy forehead, ignoring Roy spazzing in the background.

* * *

**A/N:** Heehee…couldn't resist. So adorable… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	79. A Little More Than Friends

**A/N:** _(throws confetti into the air) _Yay for RizaArmstrong! That's the coupling in this drabble! n.n Also, another pairing (or two...) is implied in this drabble! See if you can guess. I think they are pretty obvious. XP

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I have a can of pepper spray and it's full…pardon me, were you saying something? (Ed: 0.o')

* * *

****

A Little More Than Friends

Havoc and Fuery stared out the window in Roy's office watching Riza and Armstrong talk with each other. The two had been sitting on the bench for the past half hour and had yet to get back to their offices and work. It seemed that Riza and Armstrong blushed every now and then when their hands accidentally brushed against the other.

Havoc shook his head and narrowed his eyes in disgust. "That's just appalling. See how mushy gushy they are with each other?" He placed his hand onto Fuery's hand and ruffled the hair. "It's just wrong to see two military people flirting, or even getting together in any intimate fashion."

Fuery stared up at Havoc. "But--aren't we together?"

Havoc blinked. "You don't see me going out and about blushing everytime I touch you, do you?"

"Well, golly, Jean, if you did you'd be red 24/7."

Havoc narrowed his eyes. He was about to silence the boy with a kiss when Roy and Ed entered chatting away happily but stopped when they saw the men.

Roy glared. "What are you doing in my office?"

"Uh…"

Roy narrowed his eyes and set his fingers, ready to snap. "You two had better not have been making out in here."

Kain stuttered. "We weren't sir! We would never!"

Roy seethed. "You better not have, now get out."

Kain and Jean dashed out quickly leaving Ed and Roy in the office alone.

Ed walked over to the door and closed it, making sure that it was locked.

Roy pulled the shades closed and approached the blond, who had already began to take off his clothes. "So, what'll it be? The couch or the desk?"

* * *

**A/N:** Ironic. Three couplings in one drabble. One leads to another to another in a sort of odd way…lol. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	80. Shower

**A/N:** Another update. Glee! RoyEd…or at least Roy kinda hitting on Edward who is trying to get away from him…_(shifty eyes) _

Ed: What torture are you putting me through this time?

Me: Roy. _(points to Roy)_

Ed: 0.o What?

Roy: _(puts arm around Ed) _She means that she's sticking you with me…

Ed: _(pries Roy's arm off of him, takes a few steps forward and suddenly drops to knees) _NOOOOO!

_(Secretly in Ed's Mind: YESSSS!)_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer:** Why does this freakishly remind me of a Herbal Essence commercial? x.x

* * *

****

Shower

It wasn't his fault that he ended up at the bastard's house. It just…happened.

Ed was heading back to the apartment where him and his brother were staying when a sudden downpour began. He ran until he came to the first familiar house on the street where he knew the person inside.

He knocked and Roy opened the door and smirked. "Ah, Fullmetal. What brings you here?"

Ed was holding his jacket over his head trying to shield as much rain off of him. It was futile. He was drenched and dirty. "Can I stay for the night?" His pride was shattered the moment he asked that. No, his pride had been shattered the moment he had knocked on the guy's door. Damn.

"Sure." Roy let the boy in and closed the door behind him.

Ed was about to speak when Roy did so for him. "You can use my shower, and while you're in there I'll get some spare clothes for you. Hopefully they'll fit you, because they were made for _tall_ people."

Ed fumed but held his temper at bay. For now anyway…

"Now strip."

Ed's eyes bugged. "WHAT?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "I meant take off those muddy things you call clothes and give them to me and get in the damn shower. You aren't tracking mud all over my house."

Ed complied and went to the shower as soon as Roy pointed the way to it and had given him a towel.

Ed was washing his arms with the washcloth when he felt a sudden draft, like a door being opened. He shivered for a second and poked his head out from behind the curtain and glared. "Do you mind?"

Roy smirked. "No, and I do believe that this is my house…so I'll go where I please." He held up the pile of clothes. "Clean clothes. Your size."

Ed nodded and resumed to his showering. He was done now cleaning himself and was now in the process of beginning to wash his hair when he heard the sudden flushing of the toilet. He blinked for a moment before he ran out of the range of the water.

"GODDAMNIT THAT IS COLD!" He threw open the curtain not caring about how he was naked. "ROY! YOU BASTARD!"

Roy stood beside the toilet with his hand on the handle of the toilet and grinned. "What? I didn't do anything." He observed Ed's body for a moment and whistled. "Nice, Ed. I never knew you looked that manly."

Ed looked down and realized what he did and quickly drew the shower curtain around himself. "Damnit Roy!"

* * *

**A/N:** In my house, when someone flushes the toilet, the water in the shower goes cold. It may be different in other people's houses…but that's what happens in mine. x.x 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	81. Jealousy

**A/N:** I was talking with my sister last night about the drabble "Mud", and she somehow convinced me to write a sequel to it. So, here I go. RizaEd of course. :3

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Uh_…(looks around)…_don't own 'em.

* * *

****

Jealousy

"Come on, Roy. You know you can tell me what's bothering you." Maes patted his best friend on the back comfortingly only to have his hand brushed away.

"Leave me be, Hughes." Roy took a sip from his drink and stirred the ice around in it with a straw.

"Did you get turned down for a date?" Hughes sipped his own drink and waited for Roy to answer.

"…"

"Roy?"

_"Hm?"  
_  
Hughes groaned. "Did you get turned down for a date?"

Roy smacked his head onto the counter and growled. "No, worse."

Hughes' eyes widened. "Worse? What could be worse than being turned down for a date?" He paused. "Was it Riza's doing?"

Roy was about to speak when the entrance to the restaurant opened and Riza and Ed walked in hand in hand with happy smiles on their faces. Riza and Ed saw Hughes and Roy and Ed waved. "Hey Roy! Hey Hughes! Didn't know that you two would be here!"

Riza waved back smiling and placed a kiss on Edward's cheek as the waiter led them to a booth for their date.

Hughes' jaw dropped to the floor as Roy took another long swig of his drink. The man turned to the flame alchemist and began to pat him on the back with a very apologetic look on his face.

"Oh, Roy, I am so sorry. Dumped for a blond alchemist with a temper to match his height. I am so sorry buddy."

"Shut up, Maes."

* * *

**A/N: **lol. Poor Roy. 

-Mint Pizza Queen


	82. Skirts

**A/N:** Thankies to joyfullness one for the writing topic! Evil!Roy torturing the poor women and Edward.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** That's the way _(uh huh) _I like it.

* * *

**Skirts  
**Roy had his traditional smirk on his face when he had heard the knock on the office door. Havoc poked his head through the crack and grinned. 

"They are here, sir."

Roy leaned back in his chair and tapped the tips of his fingers together. It had been several weeks since he had become Fuhrer, and he had put his life long dream into action.

Forcing all the women in the military into tiny mini-skirts.

Plus one certain Elric…

* * *

"Line up with your backs straight and arms at your sides." Roy marched along the line of women watching as each twitched in their own way trying to resist the temptation to pull the miniskirt to cover any exposed skin.

He reached the end of the line and realized that there were two people missing:  
_  
Riza and Edward._

"Riza! Edward!" He called tapping his shoes impatiently onto the floor. Finally, the door creaked open and a flushed Riza poked her head in.

"Sorry, sir, was in the ladies room."

She stood at the end of the line with an irate expression on her face. Roy had made sure that her guns were taken away before she had been told about the new order.

"Edward Elric!"  
_  
No response._

Roy knew that the boy was in the room, and was very angry with the new order. Roy smirked as he walked over to the closet in his office. "Let's see what's behind door number 1." He flung open the door to find Edward hiding in the back of the closet wearing the miniskirt and was burning red in the face.

"SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!"

Roy dragged the boy out and forced him to stand beside him. "See ladies? You're not the only ones being forced to wear the miniskirt. Edward is being forced to as well."

Edward turned and snickered. "Only because you think I have a hot ass."

Roy spluttered and all the women snickered.

* * *

**A/N:** Roy's fantasy come true! Tiny mini-skirts! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	83. Stiff Hair

**A/N:** Thanks joyfullness one for the writing topic! Sorry to say (or not) that it's RoyEd. XP Ever listen to a song and get addicted to it and listen to it over and over again and finally come up with an idea to write a story for it yet it sounds like something that would be bashed into next Thursday? Well, yeah. Got one of those songs playing…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Do I have to keep on putting one of these? DAMN IT'S BUGGING ME.

* * *

****

Stiff Hair

"Damn, _Ed, _why do you have so much hair?" Roy tried to run a brush through the snarls and tangles only to get a snarl out of the boy who was the owner of the hair.

"Damn, _Roy, _why do you have to be so mean?" Ed closed his eyes and grounded his teeth as Roy tried to pry the brush from the rat's nest.

"Well, if you had brushed it more than once a week it wouldn't end up like this!" Roy managed to pry out the brush only to lose a grip on the handle and it flew through the air and right through his window. "Damn it, you are so fixing that."

Ed held onto his tender scalp and wrinkled his nose. "I ain't fixing anything, and I do brush my hair more than once a week! I brush it everyday, and more than once a day!"

Roy took a comb and looked at it gingerly. He shook his head and stood up. "Let's go."

Ed looked up worriedly as Roy grabbed his wrists and led him up the stairs. "Uh, where are we going?"

"I am washing your hair to get out those damn snarls."

****

(Twenty soggy minutes later…)

Edward walked down the stairs looking mighty pleased with his hair being unsnarled. "Thanks a lot, Roy! I owe you one!" He flopped onto the couch and grabbed the first magazine off the coffee table and began to read it.

Roy, whom was standing in the bathroom still, was drenched head to toe with water, shampoo and conditioner. He scowled at the mess. "Oh, you owe me one, alright, Edward." He picked up the soggy bathroom mat and yelled. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SQUIRM SO MUCH, ED? I WAS ONLY TRYING TO WASH YOUR HAIR!"

"Well, Roy, with you standing behind me, do you honestly think I wouldn't squirm?" Edward called up amusedly.

Roy threw the bathroom mat down the stairs and watched as it landed on the boy. He wiped his hands and smirked. He was gonna get his ass kicked, but it was worth just seeing Ed pissed off.

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say. XP 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	84. Karaoke

**A/N:** Thanks to joyfullness one for the writing topic! Roy and Maes friendship. :D

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I ate the last piece of _One Piece_.

* * *

****

Karaoke

"Maes, what are you doing?"

Maes Hughes hooked up the final piece of equipment and grinned happily at his best friend. "Hooking up the karaoke machine, what does it look like?"

_"Huuuuughes…"_

Hughes looked over his shoulder and gave him a thumbs up. "It's okay, Roy! It'll be fun! I don't have my cameras out, so don't worry about it."

Roy sighed. There was no way he could fight with his best friend.

"Alright, I'll sing some karaoke with you." Roy approached Hughes who was grinning madly.

Little did they know that someone else was armed with a camera…

* * *

Maes sat at the table that night with his wife eating dinner chatting up a storm. "--and so I says to him 'Oh come on now, it can't be that bad! It's only a couple photos for the military album!' and he says 'But my hair is messed up!' and Ed popped out of no where and fixed it up! You should've seen his face!" 

"Maes," Gracia folded her hands and rested her elbows on the table.

"Even better was later today during lunch, me, Roy and Havoc were playing a game of poker and Ed comes over and we convinced him to play! What surprised us all was he actually won!"

"Maes," Gracia said more firmly. Hughes looked at her and tilted his head.

"Yes, honey?"

Gracia smiled and reached for a package on the counter and handed it to her husband. "I have a surprise for you and Roy."

Hughes opened the package which turned out to be a ton of photos from the day that him and Roy were playing karaoke. He looked up and nervously spoke. "You do realize he's going to fry me, right?"

A smirk played on Gracia's lips. "Tell him they are from me. And if he tries anything to tell him that I have the negatives still and can make plenty of copies and I'm sure Edward would **_love_** a few of those pictures of him…"

Hughes shoved the photos into his jacket's pocket.

* * *

**A/N:** Gracia? Evil? APOCOLYPSE! 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	85. Football

**A/N:** Random thought popped into my head when a discussion on sports came up out of the blue…no couplings. Unless you want to squint and call it EdWinry implied.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** 4! 24! Shorty! HIKE! 

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT--UMPH! _(catches the football and gets tackled)_

_

* * *

_

**Football  
**Roy leaned forwards and placed his hand onto the football with narrowed eyes. His venomous glare was towards his opponents, Armstrong, Hughes and Alphonse. He blew a strand of hair out of his face and his gaze traveled to the sidelines where the cheerleaders were_…boy, their cute little mini-skirts and---NO! STOP THINKING THAT! THEY AREN'T EVEN CHEERLEADERS! Alas, it's good to dream…_

Roy shouted some random numbers and hiked the ball back to Havoc, whom caught it with ease and backed up a few paces. Roy dashed forwards trying to make it to the end zone to make a clear catch. He caught the football at the twenty yard line and was making a mad dash across the field to the end zone only to be stopped at the twenty yard line.

Riza tooted the whistle and held her arms up. "First down!"

Edward stood behind Roy and Havoc and snorted. "Why are you forcing me to play when you two aren't having any trouble making moves close to get a touchdown?"

Roy smirked. "We need even numbers of players on each team. But with you on our team still makes us outnumbered."

"What? But…there's three of them and three of us!"

Roy shook his head. "No, there's three of them and two and a half of us. You're so small, you're only half a person."

Ed fumed but didn't say a word. He stomped away with steam blowing out his ears.

The players arranged once again. Roy hiked the ball once again to Havoc, who caught it with ease. He backed up a few steps, saw that Edward was clear for the catch and threw it to the boy.

Edward was still in a pissy mood from the comment Roy had made and didn't notice the ball flying at him. It landed in his arms gracefully, and he looked at it surprised. He looked up just in time to see a field of pink sparklers, and then suddenly everything went black.

Riza blew the whistle and Winry screeched. "EDWARD!" She dashed out onto the field to where Armstrong had 'tackled' Edward and saw an Edward shaped hole in the ground. She looked up and glared at Armstrong, who had been rambling a line of apologies. Winry took out her wrench and began to pummel the man with it.

Roy cringed and Havoc bit his nails with wide eyes. "That's gonna leave a mark."

* * *

**A/N: **Well, it's kinda Ed's fault for getting tackled…and…well, not Armstrong's fault if Ed is so small that he gets squished. 

-Mint Pizza Queen


	86. Drafty Love

**A/N:** I have never thought I'd see the day where my mom stepped in and gave me an idea for a drabble. I thought this idea was just too hilarious to pass up, so I wrote it up and made it a RoyEd drabble. :3

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Me no own.

* * *

****

Drafty Love

Roy woke up that morning to find the sleeping face of Edward beside him. He placed a kiss onto the blonde's forehead before climbing out of bed and got ready for work.

It had started as a normal day, surely enough. But soon, he'd be getting weird looks from people as he passed them. Thinking that it was something on his face, he checked in the mirror to find nothing. He shrugged. _Maybe it was because he was being quiet or something._

He walked back to his office and walked past a snickering Havoc, whom quickly shushed when Roy turned and glared at him.

The flame alchemist walked over to Riza and sighed. "Everyone's been giving me weird looks all morning long, Riza. What's going on? Is there a joke I don't know about?"

Riza smiled. "Well…"

"What did Maes start this time?"

Riza shook her head. "It's not him this time, sir, it's, well," She blushed slightly.

Roy glared. "What? Spit it out."

Riza twiddled her fingers. "Have you felt a little drafty in the back?"

The flame alchemist raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Uh," She blushed some more, "I suggest going into the bathroom and…uh…check your behind…"  
_  
_He blinked and did as she suggested. He went into the men's room and looked into the mirror at his behind. His eyes widened as he gaped at the large heart-shaped hole in the bottoms of his pants exposing his heart-pattered boxers.

He yelled on top of his lungs.

_

* * *

_

A smile formed on Edward's lips as the sound of Roy's screaming reached his ears. _Ah, he found the little surprise at last._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** _(grins evilly) _I wonder if Roy _would _actually wear heart-patterned boxers…or if he preferred boxers or briefs…hmm…You'd think with Roy being all alert and everything he'd actually notice a large hole in his pants. _(shifty eyes)_

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	87. Hats

**A/N:** Thanks to joyfullness one for the writing topic! Little kiddy Elrics and little kiddy Winry. :3 Sort of implied little Winry being nice on Edward and Edward's little kiddy crush.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **Put a smile on! Put a smile on! Everybody come on! Put a smile on!

* * *

****

Hats

Little Edward crossed his arms and put on a pout as he watched his mom try several different hats on his little brother, Alphonse. It was that time of year again where Trisha became over obsessive about how they looked when they went to a different part of town, and wanted them to start looking like young gentlemen.

"What do you think of this one, Al?" Trisha asked with a smile.

Alphonse grinned. "I like it! What do you think Winry?"

Winry giggled. "You looked all _'gen-tel-men-ly'_." She tried to pronounce the word slowly.

Ed rolled his eyes. "I hate hats."

"Okay, Ed, you're turn."

Ed scowled. "I don't want a hat!"

Trisha tilted her head. "Why ever not?"

"I hate hats."

"Edward!" Winry yelped. "That's not nice!"

Trisha smiled at Winry. "That's right, you tell him, Winry. Hey, I have an idea, why don't you pick out a hat for Edward to wear?"

Winry's eyes sparkled. "Me? Any hat?"

Trisha nodded.

A look of utter horror fell on Edward's face. "But mom! She'll pick out something ugly! Or ever worse, _girly_!" He shuddered at the thought.

Winry stuck her tongue out at Ed and Alphonse giggled. "Well, Edward, you shouldn't be a cranky person and actually pick a hat out yourself!"

Ed growled. "I don't see why I have to wear a hat anyway! I always take it off!"

Trisha nodded to Winry, and the little girl looked at the selection of hats before grabbing one. She admired it a bit before placing it on Ed's head. "There! You look like a man now!"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "I look like a man?"

Winry nodded with closed eyes. "You look like an adult man!" She grinned.

Edward took the hat off and looked at it for a moment before turning to his mom and handed it to her. "I'll take this one then!"

Trisha raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Why ever would you want a hat now, dearie?"

Edward scowled. "Because it makes me look like a man, and I want Winry to see me as an adult man!"

* * *

**A/N:** Aw, so cute. 0.o So typical of Edward to not like something at first but when he fines some good out of it, he can't get enough of it. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	88. Junky Car

**A/N:** By the way I'm looking at the rest of drabbles in _Crack Avenue_, I think the rest of them may be RoyEd. _(sweat drops) _

I discussed these drabbles with friends and sister (whom may I add is a HUGE fan of RoyEd) with mainly one coupling on mind: RoyEd. I've managed to get as many of the others in this series as I could, but the rest just seem more suited for Edward and Roy. I've been trying to find ways to see if I could change it around, but, eh…RoyEd gets the better of me.

I'll see what I can do for the rest of this series.

For now, this one is RizaArmstrong, like I promised **crazykitsune17 **(whom wanted more of this coupling).

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I am so going on strike…

* * *

****

Junky Car

The car spluttered and choked before finally coming to a complete halt. Armstrong muttered something angrily under his breath as he unbuckled his seat belt and climbed out of the driver's seat and lifted the hood off the vehicle to do a check. Smoke poured out from under the hood as he lifted it. He coughed and wafted a hand.

"Well, miss, looks like we won't be driving the rest of the way. Car has finally croaked."

Riza groaned from the passenger seat. "Just great."

Armstrong slammed the lid down and went to the back of the car and opened the trunk. He took out the couple of suitcases and held them on one shoulder. He opened the passenger seat and held a hand out.

"I'd go look for a mechanic, but I wouldn't dare leave you alone out in the middle of nowhere. The car can stay here. It's not like anyone will miss it anyway."

Riza smirked. "So true to your word." She took his hand and he helped her out of the car.

"So, Armstrong, how far is it until we are to your hometown?" Riza asked as she walked beside him.

"Not far now, it should take at least fifteen minutes more of walking and we'll be in the town."

Riza nodded. "Are you sure you want to carry my suitcases?"

Armstrong's eye sparkled. "As the guest of honor in my hometown, I insist that I carry them for you, young lady."

Riza shook her head. This was going to be an interesting stay with Armstrong.

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing to say, except that Riza's staying at Armstrong's hometown with him. Yeah... 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	89. Blind Date

**A/N:** Haha! I got a RoyRiza one. Glee! At least it's something other than RoyEd, right? Right? Oh never mind…

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I wanted to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

* * *

****

Blind Date

"Alright, Hughes. Give it up, who did you set me up with?"

Hughes gave a peace sign as soon as he finished tying Roy's bow tie and grinned psychotically. "I'm sorry, Roy my friend, but I can't tell you. That would ruin the concept of 'blind date'."

_Twitch. Twitch._

"Can you at least give me a hint or some description?"

"It's a woman."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Well, there's a start."

"She's beautiful."

"Another start."

"Good friends with Edward."

Roy did a double take. "Ed's mechanic?"

Hughes nearly fell on the floor laughing. "No! I just wanted to see your face. Well, she is friends with Edward, and me…"

Roy sighed. It was hopeless. Maybe he could interrogate Fullmetal to tell him…

"Get a move on! You gotta be at the restaurant in ten minutes!" Hughes shoved Roy out the door and into the car and waved as the vehicle disappeared around the corner.

* * *

"Edward, are you sure I look good in this?" Riza observed her reflection in the mirror. 

Edward finished tying the ribbon on the back of her black dress and grinned. "I'm positive Riza."

"Are you sure he'll like this?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "I am positive. Need a lift to the restaurant?"

Riza shook her head. "It's not far from here." She fixed her hair up in a bun and grabbed her purse. "Thanks Edward! I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow!"

Edward waved as she disappeared out the door. "Oh boy, Roy is so in for it."

* * *

Roy looked at his pocket watch impatiently. His 'blind date' was supposed to have been here…two minutes ago…where was she? 

He looked up and was at a loss for words when he saw who his date was.

Riza smiled. "Hello, Roy."

* * *

**A/N:** Haha Roy! XD 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	90. Say It

**A/N:** This one I found just too hilarious to pass up…sort of…RoyRiza. :D

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Evil never looked so good.

* * *

****

Say It

Roy didn't know how it happened, but the moment that Edward walked in and threw that report onto the desk, he knew something was up when that lip of his curled. It wasn't like Edward to just stand there and smirk like that.

"So, Roy…" Edward walked around the desk so he was standing behind Roy. Roy became uneasy with the calmness in Edward's voice, "I hear that you have a crush on a certain female within the building. Or so Maes told me…"

'Maes, I am going to kill you…'

"That would be false information you heard, Fullmetal. Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do…"

Edward slammed his hands on the desk and grinned maliciously. "I don't think so, Roy. I want to know if you do like her or not."

"Whatever are you talking about?" Roy played dumb.

"That trick won't work with me, Roy." Edward shoved Roy out of his chair and lunged onto his back and pulled his arms back and was practically strangling the Taisa. "Say it!"

Roy struggled. "Get off!"

Edward leaned in by Roy's ear. "Say it, and I'll let you go."

"Okay! It!"

Edward groaned. "Tell me, do you love Riza?" He whispered into the man's ear. "You can just tell me the truth, it's not like I'm gonna go tell her myself…after all, that's what Maes is for, right?"

Roy bit his lip. He could face the pain of Fullmetal kicking his ass, or, just get it over with, right? Right. Roy took in a deep breath and shouted so Fullmetal got an earful.

"Yes, Edward! I am in love with Riza!"

Both Edward and Roy looked up to see the shocked look on Riza's face as she dropped all the paperwork on the floor. Edward released Roy and quickly sped out of the room before the sparks flew. Not that any were going to fly, mind you…

At least, not the bad kind of sparks.

* * *

**A/N:** Heehee….uh, yeah. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	91. Wrench

**A/N:** Eh, yeah...beware! Pissed off Winry ahead! _(veers off in search of hiding spots)_

* * *

**Disclaimer:** You pissed off the wrong Rockbell.

* * *

****

Wrench

Winry marched up the steps to the hospital with Havoc and Armstrong not far behind her. She was swinging her trusty wrench and had her bag of mechanical items by her side. She had a very angry look on her face, and appeared like she was ready to murder someone.

She kicked open the main entrance's door and marched down the familiar hallways until she stopped at the room at the end of a hallway. The room had been reserved for Edward Elric due to him getting into so many accidents, and he became almost a 'resident' in the hospital.

The blonde kicked open the door and peered around the room. Roy sat on the chair reading the paper and Riza was leaning over the bed fixing the bandages on Edward's head. Alphonse looked up from peering out the window and backed a couple feet away from the bed. Roy pushed the chair away from the bed also so he was by Alphonse, and Riza had high tailed it out of the room.

If there was ever a moment where Ed wished Armstrong was there, this was the time. He wished that the big, bulky man was standing right in front of him to protect him from the evil/painful wrench of doom.

"Uh, h-hey W-Winry…w-what brings you h-here?"

Winry raised her wrench and Ed knew what was coming.

Pain.

Clang!

And strange little stars and figures that floated around his head.

* * *

**A/N:** Poor Edo. XD 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	92. Mad Kung Fu Skills

**A/N:** Implied RoyEd! XD But…this pairing for this drabble was just meant to be. _(sweat drops)_

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Fear my mad kung-fu skills.

* * *

****

Mad Kung-Fu Skills

Ed handed Roy an ice pack grinning nervously. Roy took it after eyeing Edward for a moment, and hesitantly placed it on his swollen and red cheek.

"Damn, Ed, you hit hard."

"It's your fault though."

Roy looked flabbergasted. "I was just trying to wake you up and you jump up and you karate kicked me across the room! Then you leaped up in the air and nailed me in the face with a 'chopping' action with you hand, your automail one at that, and nailed me in the cheek!"

Ed sweat dropped. "Well, you shouldn't have woken me up."

Roy glared. "It was going onto one in the morning and you had fallen asleep in the library. What was I supposed to do, leave you there?"

"You could've. I wouldn't have been late to work then."

Roy took the ice pack off and tested the tenderness of his cheek and flinched. He placed it back on and glared. "For a shrimp, you sure know your kung-fu."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT I COULD BE THE DASH BETWEEN KUNG AND FU?"

"…what the hell?"

* * *

**A/N:** XD I love that line that Ed says about the dash. Heehee… 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	93. Well Aware

**A/N:** Time to get Al back into the picture! TT.TT No couplings.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Smile...it keeps them on their toes.

* * *

****

Well Aware

"Nii-san, why do you do that?"

Edward turned towards the suit of armor that contained his brother's soul. "Do what?"

"Rant and fume only to walk out grinning like nothing happened!"

Edward scratched at his chin for a moment but didn't say anything. Alphonse was clearly getting agitated not getting a reply.

"Nii-san…"

"Yes, Al?"

"You didn't answer my question."

Ed sighed. "I don't know. It just came naturally."

"Naturally?"

Ed turned and gave a grin. "I don't like to be obvious, you know. If you do some ranting and raving and then grin, it keeps them on their toes."

Alphonse would've blinked if he had any eyes. "Oh."

"Remember that, Al. It'll come handy in the future when you got your body back."

* * *

**A/N: **And Ed's supposed to be a good influence…oh God, he's corrupting Al. x.x 

-Mint Pizza Queen


	94. Nail Clippers

**A/N:** RoyEd. _(shifty eyes) _Sorry! O.o

* * *

**Disclaimer:** …And they call it puppy love…

* * *

****

Nail Clippers

Edward entered the Taisa's office only to be instructed to close the door. He entered slightly puzzled.

"Uh, Taisa?"

"Edward, I have something for you."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "I thought that you weren't for public affections?"

Roy narrowed his eyes with a smirk. "It's not public, it's in my office. And for your information, it's something that will be used quite often."

Roy took out a small box and handed it to Edward. Ed opened it and took out the object inside. It was a pair of nail clippers.

"…eh?"

Roy pointed to his back and grimaced. "You scratch…very, very hard. Trim your nails before you climb into bed with me, please."

* * *

**A/N:** XD Nothing to say. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	95. No Need For Cupid

**A/N:** RoyHavoc…:P

* * *

**Disclaimer:** …Because very show needs it's pointless magical freaky dude of the day…

* * *

****

No Need For Cupid

"So?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Mmm."

"That's good."

Roy and Havoc exchanged nervous glances. Havoc finally spoke up. "Do you think that the others will handle us being together?"

Roy sighed. "I know Riza won't care, Breda may be a little freaked out, Al will probably accept it, Hughes and Ed already know…"

"How did them two find out?"

"They have ways of spotting things that aren't visible to a normal person. I can usually see Hughes knowing this stuff, romance and all, but Edward?" Roy shook his head. "Hard to believe."

Havoc snickered. "Yeah."

"So, want your first kiss?" Roy wiggled his eyebrows.

Havoc grinned and leaned in. "Love to."

Suddenly, the door swung open and in the doorway stood Armstrong, sparkles flooding the office room. Roy looked closer and saw that Hughes was clinging to Armstrong's leg, with a look of apology on his face. Edward popped up behind Armstrong and scowled. "Sorry you two, tried to stop him. He just came on barging in."

Armstrong swung his arms knocking the wind out of Edward and sent the poor boy flying backwards. The large man wrapped his arms around both Havoc and Roy and had the waterfalls of tears down his face.

"I am so pleased that you two have finally admitted your love for each other! You will lead a wonderful life together, and eventually get married!"

He released them and the sparkles began to thicken. "I will help with your marriage plans!"

"I am not going to be the flower girl!" Edward's voice called.

Roy and Havoc exchanged glances. "Uh…we're not going that far into the future yet, Armstrong."

The sparkles fell. "Oh."

* * *

**A/N: **I love Ed's line. XD 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	96. Hugs

**A/N:** Almost to the finish line! Just five drabbles left. How sad. This was so much fun to write. EdWinry.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't real.

* * *

****

Hugs

"Please don't tell me you're leaving already!" Winry held back tears as she watched Ed pick up his suitcase and shuffle to the door.

"I have to, Winry. I have to get back to trying to find a way to fix mine and Al's bodies. I can't stop and let all this precious time be wasted. I'm sorry."

Winry's face went crestfallen and she stared at the floor. "Okay. Be careful."

Edward nodded and opened the door. He paused and turned to Winry who was still looking at the floor. He smiled, placed his luggage on the floor and approached her.

Winry was too enveloped in her thoughts to realize that Ed was wrapping his arms around her. She suddenly felt the warmth from his body and the coldness from the steel of the automail. She could hear his heart beating and instantly felt better.

Edward felt the girl wrap her arms around him and hug him back. This was the closest thing to a sweet goodbye he could give.

* * *

**A/N:** Not humorous…more…romantic. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	97. Interruption

**A/N:** Another RoyEd. _(runs and hides) _Kinda risqué too. XD As my French teacher had said before…XP

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I'm not angry...I'm simply imagining the forceful removal of your head from your body.

* * *

****

Interruption

Roy left a trail of kisses down the side of Edward's neck, who kept on mumbling incoherent things under his breath. Edward was seated on Roy's lap with his legs wrapped around his waist and wasn't willing to let go of the man very easily. However, his conscience was getting the better of him.

"Roy, please stop doing that, I should be researching…" Edward suddenly felt a nip on his neck and shushed himself with a loan groan.

Roy began to run his hand through Edward's hair and heard a faint purr escape from the boy's throat. He continued to do this until Edward shifted so his arms were wrapped around the man's neck.

"Research? Now? You got all afternoon…this is just a good morning between lovers." Roy captured Ed's lips and a moan escaped the blonde's throat again.

'Click!'

Roy shot up from his chair instantly dropping Edward onto the ground. He glared at the intruder who was none other than Maes Hughes and his damned camera.

"Whoops, was I interrupting?" He asked innocently. Roy wasn't convinced of his innocence.

Maes instantly ran out of the office cackling leaving Roy explaining to a much enraged Edward, who nearly suffered a concussion from smacking his head off the desk.

* * *

**A/N:** Heh…uh…yeah. I liked this one. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	98. Anger Management

**A/N:** HavocEd implied.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

* * *

****

Anger Management

Havoc pushed Edward into an overstuffed chair only to receive an angry glare and a kick in the shin. Havoc bit his tongue and seated himself in the chair on the other side of him and took a deep breath.

"Okay, boss. This is for your own good--"

"Bullshit."

"…"

"What?"

"Watch your mouth."

"Don't make me kick your ass."

Havoc blinked. "Okay, moving off of that topic. As you know, Roy and Riza gained up on me and are forcing me to make you take these 'anger management' sessions…"

"Yeah."

"And they want to know what's the source of your anger."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Can't be too hard to find it, it's right in front of me."

Havoc pretended to cry. "Me?"

Edward blinked. "No not you! You don't make me angry! You actually make me…happy."

It was Havoc's turn to blink. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Havoc took a deep breath. "Now that we got that cleared up, let's see what we can do about that source of your anger."

Edward held up a hand and began a list.

"We could poison Mustang, we could hang Mustang, we could make out, we could frame Mustang from some crime, we could--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…back up…" Havoc's eyes were filled with a mischievous grin, "What was that third choice?"

Ed stood up in front of Havoc and grinned. "Let me refresh your memory."

* * *

**A/N:** Ending that drabble right there! O.o 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	99. Finally

**A/N: **Thank you everyone for partaking in reading my drabble series. I really enjoyed writing and I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed reading the series to my sister. However, this is not the end. This, my friends, is just the beginning. Sometime in August I shall be posted a second series called _"Hysterics Boulevard". _I've already got the series planned out with the aid of my sister and friend joyfullness one. Thank you everyone, and hoped you liked this series. There is one more drabble after this one.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** I guess this is where I'm supposed to say thank you?

* * *

****

Finally

The day had finally came. The long awaited one. The one that Roy had been waiting for since the day he had joined the military.

The day where Colonel Roy Mustang become the new Fuhrer.

He was still in shock about the news. He didn't know that he would become Fuhrer so soon, but, who was complaining? He wasn't. He was now given the chance to change the way everything ran.

He would change the women's uniform.

He would change the cafeteria's meals.

He would change the way the government ran.

He wouldn't allow teenagers to join the military.

Furthermore, he would finally ask Edward Elric, his lover for four years, to marry him.

It was finally happening.

* * *

**A/N:** Eh, not humorous. Just romantic at the end…sort of. 

**-Mint Pizza Queen**


	100. Plotting

**A/N:** This drabble is dedicated to my good friend joyfullness one who had helped me a lot throughout the writing of this series. Thank you for the writing topics and encouraging me! This is for you my friend!

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Who's in control now?

* * *

****

Plotting

Edward had enough. He was sick of being treated like…like…shrimp. He was sick of being called short. He was tired of being pushed around like a speck of dust.

It was time to take over.

He had heard that the higher ups would be out of Central for a week, which would be perfect for his plot. The highest ranking person that would remain at Central would be the bastard himself…

Colonel Mustang.

Bastard.

He's the one that caused him the trouble.

Edward plotted carefully, picking at each detail making everything perfect.

He had the blackmail for Mustang. He had already gained Havoc's, Fuery's, Hughes', and surprisingly, Hawkeye's support. They were all for putting the bastard Taisa in his place.

Now to put the plan into action.

It was simple really, he would waltz in that morning acting all peachy keen and then SLAM! He would strike. He would give that Colonel an ass kicking that would leave his bottom so sore he wouldn't be able to sit for a week…or, just to be on the safe side, a month.

He would then destroy Roy's blasted gloves so that jerk couldn't torch him back. He would then put the torture and humiliation of that brute into action. Just leave that part to Hughes. He's the one with the camera, after all.

Ed snickered evilly. It was just too good to pass up.

But, then a thought hit him…

Would Roy force him to sleep on the couch for a month?

_Damn. So much for domination and revenge._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** It's the end! Complete! Finished. Done. Over. Crack Avenue is completed at last! My goal has been accomplished!

Yay! Stay tuned in August for Part II.

-Mint Pizza Queen


End file.
